Cerita pasal burung~!

I woke up to a melodious alarm, did a 'menggeliat kucing farsi gemuk gedempul' and pulled the blanket for an extended snooze.

Actually, I tried hard to continue the 'mimpi indah menerima menantu' which was interrupted by the alarm from my blackberry. Snooze I did but the dream didn't come back. On cue, fifteen minutes later the oriental chime tone came alive again and this time I sat upright on my bed, staring out of the window.

Green leaves waved promisingly to a glorious morning, a sole bird was leaping from branch to branch. Was it the same bird as yesterday? I made a mental note of the bird's physical appearance so that I can check the next morning, if it would be the same one everyday which come to peek into my bedroom. Huh, I realized the birdie was in the company of a burung kakak tua which was reaching out from under its contraints! No wonder lah that little birdie on the tree branch was chirping so merrily, I smiled at the thought!

Lazily I did some yoga movement, just to get my rusty joints going.

Creeeekkkk, cruuukkkkk, sang my lower back. Huh, it felt so damn nice actually when my belikat made such sound. I then held up my knees to my chest and lowered my face in between. No, not to have a closer look at my burung, but to stretch my neck muscle!

Since a few days ago when I was in Dubai I have been having such delicate nerve in my neck, that any form of sudden movement resulted in sharp pain which traveled mercilessly and instantaneously down my spine.


Scary, the thought that it may affect the vitality of any unsuspecting burung! In fact, on the last day in Dubai, I went for a Thai massage at a place called 'Relax' in Jumeirah. The soothing sound of trickling water and birds chirping did wonder to relax me, so much so, I dozed off and was awoken only when the lady masseur whispered, 'Turn over!'

Honestly, I was embarrassed for when I was turning over I realized that one particular burung was in conversation with the birdie sound that was coming from the speakers discreetly placed behind some kind of potted plants. Behave, boy, behave! I commanded to be 'at ease!'

I got out of bed, walked to the window and made small tapping sound on the window panes. I was trying to attract the bird's attention. The damn thing buat donno and completely ignored me! I knew then, it was there not to flirt with any burung kakak tua, but in fact it was teasing my son's burung pipit in the next room. Obviously, it was a bird innocent of worldly things, for if it were like any young birdies hovering over the skyline of metropolitan cities like KL, then it would have known better - a burung kakak tua nearly always worth a lot more than a young burung pipit! Alas, birdies in Saudi are pure and uncorrupted, so they claim!

After a good hot shower, I toweled myself, standing in front of my bedroom mirror. Feeling rather jilted by the birdie outside my window a few minutes ago, I took good look at myself.

Errrm, I was quickly reminded by a psychological study which said, "A man tends to see only the better parts of himself in the mirror, while a woman tends to notice everything unattractive! "
How I managed to miss my expanded pot belly, but smiled gleefully at what little muscle I have in my bi-cepts, really underscored the pyscho study! Some modesty still existed in me, I intentionally ignored the temptation to stare further down, the burung kakak tua saved from any untowards remark!

I chose one of my favourite shirt today - the one I purchased at Marks & Spencer, and paid AED220.00 for it, after 15% discount. The kind of luxurious display which would normally attract KL birdies to feed out of one's palm. I chose my favourite pair of pants, blue with ever so subtle silvery pin stripes. Huh, something was not quite right! I could not hook the button without exhaling much of the air from my stomach ~! In a state of denial, I blamed the maid for shrinking my pants by washing it the wrong way! But, changed to a baggy pair of pants I did. My ego did deflate a little though, as I made stride towards my car.

"Good morning sir!" greeted one Pinoy maid. I smiled, and return a good morning greeting.
Wonderful!

She actually gave me a reason to smile, simply because she was smiling. And by smiling, my stride automatically became bigger and with added springs! Half way to my car, 'Sonny' our cat from previous stay here came running towards me. I stopped briefly, to stroke his furs and tickled his chin and under belly. Ah, he loved that! And, that darling, was the reason I wrote this episode - for while I was doing that to 'Sonny' I was thinking of you.

I missed you...missing waking up next to you, stroking your hair and tickling ur cheeks and ribs! Not to mention, the nestling warmth much missed by a burung, kakak tua as it may be!


And with that, I was jolted, and kicked Sonny out of my way. How could I! I meant how could I started feeling affection for an over-fed, unkept cat ( and a male one too!), and be thinking of you, darling. I felt similar kind of guilt like I was 'bermain kayu tiga!' No, not that I know how 'bermain kayu tiga' would make a man feel. I won't bother finding out!

That was also the reason why I called you before I started the car engine this morning. Our conversation must have gone a little steamy, for I realized a sudden swelling between my trouser's pockets. You reminded me of what I was missing last night and when I woke up this morning. Only a little while after that, it dawned on me, you too must have been missing the same thing~! And I felt much better, despite having been ignored by that little birdie from outside my bedroom window earlier. Believe me, it is always nice to feel wanted!

Here is loving and missing you~!

Leadership isn't always about you...

Leadership Isn't About You!

This week's question for Ask the Coach:

I am having a difficult time leading my team. The team members will not follow my instructions, which I am sure would make our project much more successful. What am I doing wrong?

What you're doing wrong is very simple: you have simply forgotten that your team is more critical to the success of your project than you are.

Over the years, I have worked with many great leaders as an executive educator and coach. One client, Charlie (not his real name), in particular is still one of my favorites. He is the one who showed the most improvement — and he is the one who I spent the least amount of time with.

Charlie was president of a division with more than 50,000 employees. His CEO recognized his talents and asked me to help Charlie expand his role, provide more leadership, and build synergy across the organization. Charlie eagerly involved his team in this project. Each person took responsibility for creating positive synergy with cross-organizational colleagues. They regularly reported their efforts, learned from their colleagues, and shared what they learned. They thanked people for ideas and suggestions and followed up to ensure effective implementation.

What I find interesting is that of all the clients I have every coached, Charlie is the client I spent the least amount of time with. This inverse relationship between our spending time together and he and his team getting better was very humbling. At the end of our project, I told Charlie about this observation. "I think that I spent less time with you and your team than any team I have ever coached, yet you and your team produced the most dramatic, positive results. What should I learn from my experience?"

Charlie thought about my question. "As a coach," he said, "you should realize that success with your clients isn't all about you. It's about the people who choose to work with you." He chuckled; then he continued: "In a way, I am the same. The success of my organization isn't about me. It's all about the great people who are working with me."

What an insight! This isn't what most of the conventional wisdom of leadership dictates. Most leadership literature exaggerates, even glamorizes, the leader's contribution. The implication being that everything begins with the leader, that she is responsible for your improvement, she guides you to victory, without the leader there is no navigator.

This isn't true. An oft-quoted proverb says: "The best leader, the people do not notice. When the best leader's work is done, the people say, 'We did it ourselves.'"

Truly great leaders, like Charlie, recognize how silly it is to believe that a coach or a leader is the key to an organization's success. The best leaders understand that long-term results are created by all of the great people doing the work — not just the one person who has the privilege of being at the top.

Readers: Please share your stories about teamwork and leadership. How do you lead your teams successfully? Is it about you or them?

The writer is:

Marshall Goldsmith is a world authority in helping successful leaders achieve positive, lasting change in behavior. Dr. Goldmith's 24 books include What Got You Here Won't Get You There, an NYT best seller, WSJ #1 business book and Harold Longman Award winner for Business Book of the Year. He has been recognized as one of the world's leading executive educators and coaches in BusinessWeek, the Economist, Forbes and The Times of London. His articles and videos are available online at MarshallGoldsmithLibrary.com and he can be reached at Marshall@MarshallGoldsmith.com His latest book is Succession: Are You Ready?

"Happy birthday Anis!"

Morning sun steals into Anis's bedroom, softly kissing her face. Still half asleep, Anis turns her face away from her bedroom window. She reaches for her mobile phone. Something which is not there disappoints her. No messages! No miss calls! "He doesn't care! No one cares..."she thought, and sinks deeper into reclusion. Without her consent, warm tears trickle down to her pillow.

The cycle of her ups and downs seems to be out of equilibrium. Lately, she is having more downs than ups. There are many mornings when she doesn't feel like getting out of bed at all. There are many nights when she can't seem to go to sleep without first creating some kind of a nightmare in her mind. She often wonders whether it is all worth the effort - the separation, the sacrifices, the absence!

Curling there under the warmth of her pastel yellow duvet, she some how feels unsafe! But unsafe from what? Living in Newcastle, a city of beer, coal mines and football has never made her feel unsafe. There are some fifty other Malaysian students there, and she has also met with two Malaysian ladies in their forties who are married to 'Mat Salehs' and have set up homes in the upper class end of Newcastle. Kak Nah and Alicia, both have been there for more than 20 years, but still speak fluent and very good Malay. In fact, kak Nah's Kedah slang is still as original as any makciks she knows back home. Not to mention her laksa and fish head curry! More than good enough to curb her yearning for Malaysian food.

Yet, when she is in her own room, she often feels unsafe. In the privacy of her room, sheltered from the reality of the world and demands of her studies and thesis, she let her imagination wonders wild into space. It is her imagination which makes she feels unsafe. She imagines about her future, her love life, her fiance thousands of miles away in Malaysia. Is he being faithful to her? Is he missing her, or even thinking of her? Why doesn't he send her a message or calls her on her birthday, today!
With that thought, her silent tears turns into a sob. She lets tears flow, and she lets her body shakes. In fact, the last time any communication between them has been a long time back, 17 days to be exact! That too was initiated by her! The last time Firdaus tried to call her was one month ago! "I called, but you did not pick up !" was what he claimed when she called back after seeing a missed call on her mobile.

The demands of her studies, trying to complete her PhD, is keeping her sane and going, and perhaps even living! Her heart has been broken to pieces before when her love of eight years ditched her to marry a daughter of a Dato'. She wanted the earth to open up and swallow her then. Eight years of dreams they painted together on a white and clean canvas shattered. Eight years of friendship which blossomed into a romance, adorned with countless memorable moments along the way vaporized into thin air. "How do you feel?" He asked, tightly embracing her.
"Blissful!" she whispered to him. That was on a night which changed her from being a girl to being a woman. That night, they drew their promises of a beautiful life together, to be happy ever after, on the white sandy beach of Pulau Pangkor. In that drawing in the sand, her heart was circled by his bigger heart. Then they both drew a box around the two hearts and sealed it with a lock! And they kissed under the moon light, their hands locked and their lips entwined. Their hearts shared a common rhythm, and they caressed and let slow danced to the songs of the ocean!

The recollection of the past, only makes her sobs turns into weeps. "Fendi! I hope you are happy...then at least my misery has some meaning to it!" she oftens comfort herself with the same mantra. His happiness, is her happiness!

She pulls her duvet to her face. She bites at the edge. he calms down. Biting and suckling the edge of the duvet provides her with some comfort, perhaps not unlike a baby seeking comfort in suckling a mom's nipple. Her weeps subsides into a sob. Soon after, her sobs stops altogether. She wipes her tears, take another look at her mobile and with a sigh, she gets up and out of bed.

"What ever will be will be! I am not getting hurt because of you Firdaus!" she walks into her bathroom. She needs to be ready! She has a group discussion within an hour. She likes her group discussion. The presence of her buddies, cheers her up! The focus on intellectual discussion, activate her mind away from idle emotional state. She loves it too when Idham, the guy who speaks English with heavy Kelantan slang, teases her....with and about anything! Idham is not as good looking as Firdaus, but he is gentle and very funny. If she needs a reason to smile, she needs only to think of him. And in his presence, she grins non-stops and laughter comes naturally.
"Errmm, why am I comparing Idham to Firdaus!" she mumbles over the noise from her hair drier.
She chooses her favourite blouse, just nice for the spring time weather. Or is it, Idham's favourite blouse? Whatever. She smiles...and for the first time since last summer, she applies a red gloss lipstick to her lips. "Muahhzzz!" she made the sound as she pouted her lips and admires her own beauty.
"Happy birthday to me!" she said, and blows a kiss to herself in the mirror!

end.
(cerita rekaan semata2...hehehe....idham sempat juga inter-frame tu! ahaks!!)

Nak cakap apa?

Wife splashes acid on cheating hubby

Nak cakap apa?

"Padan muka!" kepada suami kah atau kepada isteri, atau kepada si girl fren ?

"Kesian !! " kat suami kah, atau kepada isteri, atau kepada girl fren?

"Tak patut!!!" kepada suami kah, atau isteri, atau girlfren??

JOHOR BARU: A policeman was badly injured when his estranged wife splashed him with acid after she found him with his girlfriend at his home in Nusajaya.

It is believed the wife, who is in the process of filing for a divorce, found her husband and the girlfriend in a compromising position when she entered the house at 4.30pm yesterday.

The policeman, a constable in his 20s attached to the Nusajaya district headquarters, and the girlfriend were warded at the Sultanah Aminah Hospital.

He suffered burns on the chest and body while the girlfriend sustained minor injuries.

The wife, in her 20s, has been detained.

Nusajaya OCPD Supt Abd Aziz Ahmad confirmed the incident.

---

What is becoming of me...

There I was, alone, on the upper deck of the Boeing 747 ( I know very old plane! ) on an India flight from Cochin to Jeddah, just been awoken from my slumber by a soothing voice asking if I want to eat. And I immediately looked at my watched and configured what time it was in Malaysia. While I nodded a 'Yes' to the food question, my mind was thinking of you and the children. "What would you be doing at that very moment?"
The plane has taken off about 10 minutes ago, and we were on a short leg to Calicut for a one hour transit. The stewardess brought a tray filled with sandwiches, spring roll, and a glass of water. I took the water and returned the rest. Absolutely no appetite, I wondered why I said I wanted food in the place.
The stewardess made no fuss, she simply smiled and went back to her cabin leaving me to my own thoughts.
I was missing home! No, that was not it!
I was missing you, and home is where ever you are!
I slipped low into my seat, pulled my blanket up to cover my face. That very moment, tears simply trickled down my cheeks.

I tried to rationalize what exactly made me feel that way. There was no rational neither any logic. It was just the thought of flying back to an empty house. The thought of not having you there waiting to welcome me with your usual hug. The thought of pulling my trolley bag into a dark living room, quiet and empty. The thought of having so much to share about things I have done during the last few days I was in India, but no one to listen. I got quickly got hold of myself! It was a short interlude but enough to bring awareness to me, how much I have been missing my wife and children. The last time I saw them was July 3rd, one month back.

I watched two movies during the flight, both were Hindi movies. One was a classic - 'Yaadon Ki Baraat', about three brothers who were separated by circumstances after their parents were murdered, and re-united after the youngest of them turned into a singer and kept on singing their family song - the title song of the movie. I truly enjoyed this nostalgic oldie. At this particular scene where they re-discovered each other, for the second time during the flight I had tears in my eyes.

I watched a second movie, of which I forgot the title. It was about a super wealthy Indian guy who lived in New York and used his wealth to get any girl he wanted. That was until he met Varsha, a girl with high moral values. At the same time, in parallel, a man named Shankar was dreaming about a girl, and have even painted many pictures of her. It was Varsha! I did not get to finish the movie, as the plane had landed in Jeddah.

Back to my my house, I did walk into a dark living room. The house was as quiet and empty as I had imagined. But I was not sad nor melancholic anymore. I was quite relieved to be back. After a quick shower to wash away the smell of India, I leaned back on the sofa and turned on the TV. The show on Hollywood channel was "Please take my kids". A show where a couple was treated to a romantic holiday, just the two of them while a baby sitter is brought in to look after their children. Mistake! My mistake!
At one scene, when the wife hugged her husband and whispered, "I love you" while looking straight into his eyes, I found myself off the cliff again. It was an ordinary scene. But to an ordinary man like me, who is living an extraordinary life by being away from people I love, it tugged at my soft spots.

What is becoming of me....
I am turning sentimental and melancholic.

Porn.....is closer to home than you think!

When I arrived in the UK for the first time in mid 70s, amongst things I was excited about was to visit Soho. There had been so much hype about what were going on in Soho amongst Malaysian students who have 'been there and seen that'! I could not helped but be curious.
However I was not placed in London. From the Heathrow airport, a group of senior Malaysian students whisked us directly to various little towns where we were placed to do our A levels. Mine was to be in a little town called Grantham! Other new and more noble things to which I was exposed to made me forget about Soho and all of its porn glories.

Now in 2009, the porno virus is much closer to all of us including our children than Soho was to me back then in the seventies. A porn virus lurches in clouds above us, carried by porno websites and made accessible only by a few click of the keyboards. If I was curious back then, why would I not want to believe that my children would harbour similar curiosity today. I did not get to entertain my curiosity due all the complexities associated with having to physically go to Soho ~ but what would stop my children from surfing even accidentally into such websites from their laptops in the comfort of their own rooms?

A fourteen year old may do a search of the word "Boobs" and may get to see what he was hoping to see in all of their fleshy glories. What seemed like an adolescent innocent curiosity about a human anatomy can easily ended up with a peek into a full-fledge porn pictures and videos. At least here in the Middle East, I can breath easy that almost all of such sites are screened and banned by internet service providers! I would like to believe this is true...although I know of employers who have terminated the employment of their staff for browsing into porno sites at work. How on earth those staff managed to penetrate the firewalls???

Some facts:
1. There is full nudity on MySpace and, according to a recent survey, there are also 26,000 registered sex offenders on the site.
2. 90% of children in the UK have looked at porn online and the average age for first time view is eleven!
3. 50% of all internet traffic is related to sex and porno sites.

Now consider this, "Your own children may have visited such sites too....!"
You can say, " No never!" and be in a state of denial for the sake of wanting to feel good about your children or you can be a little more accepting of current reality and find ways to guide and educate them about porn and what bad influence those porn sites can give them.

Realizing that whether I like it or not, Porn is so close to home, I have chosen the later. I let my children know first of all that in the UAE it is illegal to view porno pictures and videos or go into porn sites! People caught doing so can be deported! It is that serious....Second of all, I let them know all the bad things that can happen from indulging in porn. Thirdly, I relate to teachings of Islam....about why our religion has forbidden display of Aurat! There are good reasons....

"Curiosity in children, is but an appetite for knowledge. One great reason why children abandon themselves wholly to silly pursuits and trifle away their time insipidly is, because they find their curiosity balked, and their inquiries neglected!"
- John Locke

When a father becomes a match-maker!

Twenty five years ago I fell in love with a girl. My and her parents were informed of our intention to tie the knots with a certain aura of conviction they both agreed. Twenty five years on, we are blessed to be parents to three twenty-something children, two in their teens and a young one who is nine!

Time has definitely change. At least for me! While my parents left me alone in matters of my heart, I have become overly participative when it comes to my own children ~ especially when it comes to matters of choosing their life partners.

There is a girl, a daughter of a family friend, whom I particularly like. I can envisage her as my daughter-in-law. She is seventeen. I imagine her as a life-partner to one of my sons. When I was on the phone today with Fariz, I told him, "Ayah nak introduce you to Auntie A's daughter. You contact dia directly lah! Hopefully you and her will like each other. She is sweet..and perempuan baik dari keluarga baik2!"

Fariz later on joked with his mom, "Why is Ayah sounding like a match maker ! Dia nak kita cari orang Kelantan ke!"

Fariz's comment prompted my wife and I to discuss his point, "Why am I behaving like a match-maker!"

1. I am driven by a strong desire to see my children, sons and daughter, happy in their married lives. As much as possible I want to shelter them from 'bad' people and filter 'bad' people from them.

2. I have seen too many 'rotten' apples that I have become wary of my children's ability to pick a good one from a basket of what seems to be filled with ripe and nice apples. Even girls in tudung have 'done it!' Ermmm, shocking but so true.

3. I am old fashion when it comes to love and finding life partners. There are girls to party with, there are girls to share your life with. Party girls will party with the next guy who can dance better and own flasher car. Life partners, will be there with you comes rain or shine, for life!
I am fortunate myself to have found a life partner in my dear wife!

4. A marriage is an institution made up of many stake-holders. To have a happy marriage, all stake holders are equally important in their respective roles. Thus knowing the family and roots of my potential in-laws is important to me. I want to be able to get along and have a cordial relationship with the parents of my children-in-laws.

5. I have taken 'more salt'! I know my children will probably laugh their belly sick at this particular reasoning. But having taken 'more salt' has given me a fatherly intuition of what will and will not work!

In one sentence, I am participative in my children's lives because I love them and want only the best for them! ~ their education, their career, and their lives!
I wish I can lean back like my parents were twenty five years ago ! I wish...but I can't! Twenty five years ago, kissing a girl was forbidden. Virginity was a virtue. That was twenty five years ago!

I am a modern and open minded father who discusses things like love and romance with my children. At the same time, I am a father with traditional values!

Island Escapade - Malaysians in UAE!

Bernama report HERE.
From Mastura's blog HERE.

Success wipes away any signs of tiredness and exhaustion. To have seen smiles on the faces of 300 Malaysian who were there on the Island Escapade ~ that was the magic of satisfaction felt by the organizers of the event, MyUAEPRO!
His Excellency Dato Yahya Abdul Jabar, the Malaysian Ambassador to the UAE repeatedly expressed his pride and joy to see the great Malaysian spirit conquering the inhibited island for a day!
Besides sun-tan, all participants hopefully went away re-energized and rejuvenated!
Tuan Syed Hasrin, the Consul General was one active participants, mingling and competing with Malaysians.

As organizers, MyUAEPRO can take pride in knowing everyone of the participants had a jolly good time. We thank our sponsors, especially Mr Teo of TAK!
Other kind sponsors are Veritas, Mutiara Restaurant, Nutrilite, Iffco through Tiffany and London Dairy products, and MAS.

Meeting with Tan Sri Muhyidin !

Picture by Abdul Halim.

The author posed for a photo with Tan Sri Muhyidin Yasin, the Minister of International Trade and Industry Malaysia.

"I will come back and that time you can organize a dialog session with Malaysians in Dubai!" he said to me as he was leaving the dinner function.

"Tan Sri, I await your return visit!"

Known as one of the hardest working Minister, Tan Sri Muhyidin came across as an unassuming, warm hearted and a leader who leads from the front! He has created legacies in all of the Ministries at Federal level for which he has served. At state level, Johor took significant strides forward during his premiership as the Chief Minister.

During my brief meeting with him at the dinner function, unlike most politicians he spoke little and listened more! And unlike his reputation for not smiling, that evening he was ever so charming ~ smiling all the time, especially when teased about his future. It was his listening and genuine smile which endeared him to those who were fortunate enough to have been there !

Looking ahead, it is not hard for me to imagine that one day in the future, I will be telling my children ~ I took this picture when he was not yet a Prime Minister, not even a deputy at the time!

HERE my meeting with the PM!

Tempe!

Kali kedua menerima sebungkus Tempe dari Rini ~ waktu itu aku masih di kantor, bila budak pejabat datang membawa beg plastik hijau. Serta merta aku tahu isi kandungannya kerana sebelum itu Rini ada menalifon memberitahu. Murni sungguh niat si Rini! Dia membekalkan Tempe kerana dia tahu aku dan isteri meminati Tempe. "Untuk Ibu masak di rumah, sampaikan salam saya kepada Ibu!" begitu kata Rini waktu memberitahu dia ada membawa Tempe untuk kami.

Pertama kali dulu sewaktu menyambut Aidil Fitri. Masa itu, Tempe itu kami goreng berlada! Enak....Berhari2 dapat di makan. Isteri kehairanan juga di bulan Ramadan itu apabila aku membawa pulang Tempe. "Dari mana dapat ni?" Tanya dia.
"Oh Rini yang bagi....!" Kata aku, ringkas. Yang aku terlupa, isteri belum mengetahui apa2 tentang Rini, cewet Indonesia yang baru saja menyertai syarikat aku bekerja. "Siapa Rini?" Pertanyaan susulan dari isteri.
"Oh, Rini ini cewet Indonesia yang baru menyertai syarikat, masih muda, bersuami dan ibu kepada seorang anak!" Aku memberitahu, sambil memerhati reaksi mukanya sekira ada tanda-tanda cemburu. Tidak ada sama sekali! Begitulah apa bila rekod suami bersih, tidak menjadi punca masaalah walaupun ada nama-nama cewet yang di sebut dalam perbualan. Tidak semua isteri begitu, dan tidak semua suami agaknya boleh di percayai! hahahaha. Bisa aja aku mengambil markah penuh untuk diri sendiri di sini!!! Tunggu aja reaksi dari si Anonymous A hj yang selalu menegur dengan nada sinis apabila aku mendapat markah percuma sebegini....hahahaha!!
'Suami dan anaknya di Indonesia atau di sini?" Ada lagi soalan dari isteri rupanya.
"Di sini! Suami juga bekerja begitu hampir dengan kantor kami!" aku menerangkan supaya isteri tidak sangsi langsung mengenai keihlasan Rini menghadiahkan Tempe!

Petang itu apabila menerima beg plastik hijau itu aku terus terbayang-bayangkan sambal goreng Tempe! Ahah, pasti enakkkkk makan bersama nasi panas. Isteri pula kali ini memasukkan ikan bilis bersama goreng Tempe berlada......adushhh, sedappp sihh!!

Kepada Rini, terimakasih. Sebenarnya aku telah pun mengucapkan terimakasih kepadanya. Tapi terimakasih daun keladi, jika di beri mahu lagi !!! hehehe.

Terlalu kerap memakan Tempe, aku sendiri kadang2nya bertutur umpama cowot Indonesia! Tak begitu Pak Hasnol.....?? hehehehe.

Entri ini membutuhkan rujukan mengenai Tempe di SINI.

RESEPI SAMBAL GORENG TEMPE DAN IKAN BILIS: Dari siapa lagi jika tidak Hanieliza!! ( Pergi ke blog Hanieliza tu, ada gambar yang sungguh membuka selera!)

Bahan
1 paket tempe...]potong kecil dan goreng dalam minyak dan toskan
1 biji kentang....]
1 cawan ikan bilis.. goreng garing


Sambal [mesinkan]
20 tangkai cili kering
2 labu bawang besar
2 ulas bawang putih
sikit belacan..jika suka

1 s/b cuka
minyak
garam
gula

Cara memasak
1. Tumiskan sambal sehingga garing dan masukkan cuka. Masukkan garam dan gula sikit.
2. Bila dah naik minyak dan pekat baru masukkan ikan bilis, kentang dan tempe tadi.
3.Gaul rata dan angkat dari kuali.
4. Hidangkan bersama nasi panas...ikan goreng dan sayur lemak kobis...

Friendship ...on foreign soil!

" He who has a thousand friends has not a friend to spare,
And he who has one enemy will meet him everywhere".

Ali ibn-Abi-Talib, A Hundred Sayings
(602 AD - 661 AD)

I lived four years in Singapore between 2000 to end of 2003. How many Singaporean friendship did I make and developed? How many are still flourishing today? While I was there I made a few friends in the office ~ but friendship was very much limited to office matters. A few years after leaving Singapore, I am hardly in touch with any of them. Much to my regrets....which has led to one of my new year resolutions for 2009: that is to rejuvenate old friendships worth keeping.

After Singapore, I lived in Jeddah for four years between 2003 and 2007. Perhaps learning from the missed opportunities from Singapore days, we made extra effort to befriend locals and other expats living in Saudi. One year after leaving the holy land of Saudi we're pleased to say a few friendships are still blossoming! Today for instance we received Mr B and his family visiting us ~ one of the true friendships which has sustained the test of time and distance. Today's reunion brings a lot of joy to us, especially my wife. She and Mrs B have developed into a close friendship ~ cross-culture ~ sharing and exchanges of recipes and cuisines during their frequent meetings. Those were the good old days in Jeddah.

Cross-culture friendship requires extra effort to start, and requires understanding and open mind and heart to develop. One need to appreciate diversity and its values in order to sustain such relationship.

By being a friend of Mr. B, I learnt that for Arabs hospitality towards guests is of utmost important! Food is prepared in abundance! Every time we were invited for meals, their dining table were filled to the brim - lots and lots of food and almost all were home cooked! To them, it is about giving the best to their guests. Such is the Saudi way!
I also learn that a visit should not be done in a hurry. There is a proper visiting etiquette to be followed ~ tea or Arabic coffee upon arrival, normally taken with dates. Light conversation follows, and the subject is nearly always about family well being. Men talk with men, and women with women. Praising the cooking or anything to do with women of the house is not appropriate for another man to do! Always praise only the men of the house. All praises, must always be followed with exclamation of "MasyAAllah!" to ward off Syaitan from disturbing the praised.

Prayer time is respected. When call prayer is heard, then men are expected to perform prayer immediately. I found it very convenient to go visiting with my condition already in Wudu'.

After being invited to the dining table, you are expected to stop at the sink to wash hands and wipe dry. Then be seated. Always wait for the man of the house to start. He will normally serve you...personally. Eat heartily!! Arabs love it when their guests like their food. Always decline anymore extra offerings with a "Alhamdullillah!" Please stop when full, otherwise the hosts are obliged to continue eating with you.

And what they say about crossing legs is true. For fear of risking putting up the soles of your feet towards the hosts, it is best advised not to sit cross legged in the presence of Arabs. Showing the soles of one's feet is considered more than rude, it is taboo! Similarly, never pass or accept anything with left hand. Also, some Arabs are quite particular that you only use right hands for bring food or water to your mouth. These are quite similar with our Malaysian way, so not much problem there.

As much as I learn his way and his culture, he too have been interested to learn Malaysian way of hosting guests. However, we err on following the culture of the place we live in as much as possible when interacting with the local people. Therefore while in the Middle East, we have been inclined to follow their way, both as guests in their home or as hosts to them in ours.

So, we had dinner tonight with the Mr B's family. Step by step...lots of conversation, and revisiting the good old days.

I wish I have more friends from the local community where ever I live. Just ask ourselves and be honest with the answers: "How many of us Malaysians in Dubai have friends from the local community ?"
If not, why not??
"Is it not a waste of opportunity to spend all these time abroad and only to be concerned with ourselves and other Malaysians. True "Birds of same feathers tend to flock together" but.....

Would it not add to our and our children's development and spice our lives more if we occasionally flock with birds of slightly different species?? Especially the locals"

I close my entry with the above questions.