Ketika ku sujud di bawah bayangan Kaabah..~!

Khamis 23hb Disember 2011.

Umrah bersama isteri, Amirul, dan Luqman.

Tiada tempat di dunia ini, di mana tangisan bukan kerana kesedihan tetapi kerana kesyukuran kecuali di bawah bayangan Kaabah Mu. Di sini, mengalir air mata mengharapkan pengampunan dosa! Di sini basah pipi ketika menyebut doa untuk ayahanda dan bonda. Di sini, kerdil rasa diri, Kebesaran Mu meresap ke jiwa.

Tiada destinasi di dunia ini di mana tetamu sentiasa merasai paling istimewa, kecuali menjadi tetamu Nya - mengelilingi Kaabah, mengatur tapak di antara Safa dan Marwah! Bersatu, di antara jasmani dan rohani, di antara kata-kata dan detik di hati, jasad dan roh - menemui erti damai dan harmoni!

"Di dalam hati manusia ada kekusutan dan tidak akan terurai

kecuali menerima kehendak Allah swt.

Di dalam hati manusia ada keganasan dan tidak akan hilang

kecuali berjinak dengan dengan Allah swt

Di dalam hati manusia ada kesedihan dan tidak akan hilang

kecuali seronok mengenali Allah swt

Di dalam hati manusia ada kegelisahan dan tidak akan tenang damai

kecuali berlindung, bertemu dan berjumpa denganNya

Di dalam hati manusia ada penyesalan dan tidak akan padam

kecuali redha dengan suruhan dan laranganNya serta qadha dan qadarNya serta kesenantiasaan sabar sehingga menemuiNya

Di dalam hati manusia ada hajat dan tidak akan terbendung

kecuali kecintaan kepadaNya dan bermohon kepadaNya.

Kesentiasaan berzikir kepadaNya adalah keikhlasan sebenar kepadaNya

Andai dunia dan isinya diberikan kepada manusia masih tidak lagi dapat membendung hajat hati sihamba itu." - copied from a forwarded email.

Ya Rabbi, Alhamdullillah dengan nikmat Mu kepada kami - di antara yang terpilih untuk ke sini~!

InshAAllah, kami ingin ke sini lagi...

The real secret of a happy marriage...!

Will all married men or women who have never had a fight with your spouse, please raise your hands!

Okay, I only see one hand in the audience.

"Tell me ma'am, how do you manage not to have a fight?"

Silence and lots of blinking.

"Oh, okay. How many years have you been married ma'am?"

A smile across her face. Then rather shyly she answers, "Two months!"

The rest of the audience applause!

That, in itself is an achievement! I mean, to have two full months of marriage without any argument? Wow...such bliss!

The real secret to a happy marriage is to be able to argue as often it calls for, fight if necessary, and to be able to sit down afterwards and make up!

Couples who do not fight are often stressed and unhappy - even if outwardly they put up a happy front! These couples could be 'suffering' from one or more of the followings:

- Bottled up emotions, waiting to burst.

- Their relationship is so fragile, they fear any argument may break them up!

- They do not trust each other.

- Their love for each other are so conditional that they do not wish to risk offending one another.

- They simply do not how how to communicate their thoughts and opinions freely and objectively.

- Lots of compromises taking place in the relationship.

- Either one of them or both are having affairs outside their marriage.

...................and, the list can go on!

In having an argument, it helps greatly if both husband and wife follow some basic civilized rules such as showing respect, doing so in private, focusing on issues and not on the person, etc. Name calling (e.g.,fat ass, lazy bump), gross generalization (e.g., you are always messing the kitchen, you always want your way every time!) , and abusive language of any sort is a NO NO!

Some other side rules are;

> fight outside and make up inside the bedroom.

> fight in private, and make up in even more private place.

> fight fully clothed, and in making up keep an option to easily go naked!

> don't believe any advise that marriage is a 50 / 50 arrangement! A marriage is about two people giving their full 100 / 100 !

If you have secrets of your own, I hope you are happy to share!

Amirul in the News!

I received a call from Dato Wan Asmadi, the President of Malaysian Business Council (MBC) di Jeddah early morning today to tell me that my son Amirul was in the Saudi National News paper - the Arab News.

There was a whole page article about what he and his colleagues have achieved. There were a few things about the accomplishment which made me proud...the entrepeneur spirit he showed in getting sponsors, the independence and self-and-team leadership he displayed throughout the period of the project, the positive attitude and camaradrie in his approach towards overcoming obstancles, and the fun he had in pursuing excellence with a passion!

They have put the Saudi Flag amongst the victors list, and fully deserved the full page splash in the national newspaper!

Yet again, I am reminded of one of the main reasons why I am here - for a better quality education for my children. They are exposed to a learning process which prepares them to succeed in a borderless global village - which awaits their generation in the not so far future!

You may read the article online HERE.

There is always an alternative...

I believe in miracles. I believe in the power of prayer. I believe...where there are problems, there will be alternatives and solutions!

The sudden announcement by the Bank Negara capping housing loans to a maximum of 70% margin for 3rd house onwards caught me napping, literally. I was still asleep in Jeddah when the announcement was on mainstream media in Malaysia. In a way I was glad, I was able to get a good night sleep, and have a whole day to figure out what to do!

To do something I must! I was short by a large amount of money to pay for the newly inflicted 20% margin as a consequence of the new announcement. When I made property purchases a few months back, I was banking on 90 percent margin, and had made a contigency plan only for a worse case of a lower margin at 80% loan! Being a born optimist, I did not in my plan consider that the wise ones at the Central Bank were contemplating to revise the rule.

True I am an optimist. Also true, I am a resourceful optimist. Even more true, I go about my investment in real estate with a good dosage of a 'Gambler's mentality'! That is to say, I am happy if I can earn a few bucks from a few properties even if I lose a few buck on a couple of other properties. Sometimes, I cut my loses, and other times, I maximise my profits. Most times, I calculate my potential earning as well as my cost of opportunity loss if a decision is delayed. I follow my gut more than my head. This is not the way prescribed in books on the subject of 'How to make millions from real estate' or the like. This works for me, but it may not for you, so please take this particular sharing with a health warning. The message in the next sentence however, is often preached by self-help Gurus and I have adopted it as an intrinsic attitude! It works for me....and it may work for you too! "......no matter what the situation is; there is always an alternative, a solution!"

After a few phone calls accompanied by strokes of good luck which, I was sure, were interventions from Allah (Alhamdullillah), the following happened....

>>An agent, out of the blue, called me on two consequtive days with news that two of my properties in Denai Alam which were only 85% completed have been sold! I asked for a 3% earnest deposit instead of customery 2%, and in exchanged I agreed to delay the signing of S&P by two weeks giving the buyers more time to raise the balance 7%! I was able to get more cash upfront, and the buyers got two weeks extra time!

>> I called the ustaz contractor in Kelantan who, a few months back sold me some plots of land, and I offered to him to buy back a few plots at the original price. I asked for cash payment. He agreed!

The above two actions, plus a few others taken, were able to provide solutions to my cash flow bottle neck!

ALHAMDULLILAH~!

A father should act like a father~!

Acting the part, is as important in real life as it is done by actors in movies. In each of our life, we have certain parts to act! A father has to act like a father, just like a villain in a movie must act like a villain! A father therefore, should not act like a friend. That doesn't mean you can't be a friendly father!

It may confuse a pre-school child when his father start acting like friends with whom he play at school. Many modern parents, after reading too many books about parenting, perhaps try too hard to please their young children even to the extent of role playing as children themselves. Beware - you may confuse your children of how to relate to you as a father. One possible involuntary effect of that is, the child may look for a father figure from someone else~!

....What if, the person who your child consider as his father figure happens to be the biggest loser alive!

In my view, it is better to stick to the rule. Choose the traditional way. Once upon a time, a father is a person held highly above everyone else often with a mixed of emotion; feared, respected, admired, role-modeled, loved, and some other adverbs.

Once upon a time, a father is the protector and the source of security for the whole family. Time has changed, and so has fathers. Many today are simply confused themselves of the roles they should play!

So they become their own child molester. They confuse loving with spoiling. They can't tell the difference between giving freedom and abdicating responsibility.

I lost my own father when I was only ten. I remember how I looked up to my eldest brother-in-law as my father figure. It just happened without any kind of pyschological consulatation. Rule of nature has dictated that, everyone needs a father, and in the absence of one, the child in us turn to someone who we can consider as a father fugure.

If you are a father, then, be a father!

Below is an extract I found from a website.

Fathers and Babies
Babies need predictability and security, which they get when their mother and father respond consistently, promptly, and appropriately to their cries, smiles and other signals. As a baby develops a relationship with his or her mother and father, he comes to prefer them to other adults, in a process known as attachment. Psychologists agree that babies with secure attachments to their parents have better chances to develop into happy, successful, and well-adjusted children and adults. Mothers tend to be relied upon more than fathers for the comfort and security components of attachment, primarily because they are usually the infant's main caregiver. Babies also form attachments to their fathers, who tend to be just as responsive to their babies' bids for attention as mothers. When fathers spend more time with their babies, they get to know exactly what each of their baby's signals mean. This familiarity allows fathers to respond sensitively, meaning that they know when their baby is hungry rather than when he just wants a change of scenery.

The effects of attachment on children are broad and long-lasting. For example, one study found that primary school children scored higher on tests of empathy-the ability to see a situation from another person's viewpoint-if they had secure attachments to their fathers during infancy. These children were able to recognize how other children felt and took steps to make them feel better.

Both mothers and fathers encourage their babies to investigate the world, manipulate objects, and explore physical relationships. However, mothers and fathers have different styles of relating. Mothers tend to speak soothingly and softly in repetitive rhythms to their infants and snugly hold them. Fathers tend to provide more verbal and physical stimulation, by patting their babies gently and communicating to them with sharp bursts of sound. As babies grow older, many come to prefer playing with their fathers who provide unpredictable, stimulating, and exciting interaction. This stimulation is important because it fosters healthy development of the baby's brain and can have lasting effects on children's social, emotional, and intellectual development. Infants with involved fathers tend to score higher on tests of thinking skills and brain development.

Both the mother and the father are important to an infant's development in special ways. For example, in one study, baby boys whose fathers engaged in physically playful, affectionate and stimulating play during infancy were more popular later as school children. Mothers influenced their sons' popularity through a different route, by providing verbal stimulation.

Fathers and Small ChildrenWhen babies become toddlers, parents must go beyond nurturing them and begin to address two additional needs: supporting their toddler's exploration and setting appropriate limits for the child. Through playing with their toddlers, fathers take a special role in achieving these two goals. Children learn from them how to solve problems and how to get along with others.
Fathers spend a larger proportion of their time playing with their young children than mothers do, and they tend to be more boisterous and active in their play. Most children enjoy this kind of play. Even if their fathers spend less time with them than their mothers, fathers become salient, or meaningful and special, to their children through play.

When fathers play with their toddlers, they are not just entertaining them. They are providing a safe, yet challenging arena for toddlers to learn how to interact with the world and with others. Through rough-and-tumble play, fathers create obstacles for their children and demand respect for limits and boundaries. At the same time, they challenge their children and encourage them to explore their own strength, their ability to do new things, and their impact on the world around them. Toddlers who must work out for themselves how to achieve goals-such as retrieving a ball that is just out of reach in their father's hand or wrestling their father to the ground-are practicing important problem-solving skills. In fact, when fathers are good at playing with their young children, these children score higher on tests of thinking and problem-solving skills.

Playing with fathers also helps children develop emotional knowledge, so that they can identify their own emotions, acknowledge the emotional experiences of others, and describe the causes of emotions. Toddlers must also learn emotional regulation, the ability to express emotions responsibly and control their behaviour. To understand how much emotional regulation develops during early childhood, one can picture a toddler in the midst of an angry temper tantrum, holding his breath until he gets his way. Contrast this with a four-year-old who feels frustrated that the rain has ruined his plans to play football, yet moves beyond those feelings and engages in a board game with his sister instead. When children understand their emotions and know how to control them, it makes them more popular with other children.

The father's influence on emotional development is not limited to play, but also comes through direct teaching and daily interaction. Studies have shown that, when fathers are affectionate and helpful, their children are more likely to get on well with their brothers and sisters. When children have fathers who are emotionally involved-that is, they acknowledge their children's emotions and help them deal with bad emotions-they score higher on tests of 'emotional intelligence'. Moreover, they tend to have better relationships with other children and behave less aggressively. Fathers' involvement in their young children's care can even last well into adulthood. Mothers seem to have much less impact in this area of emotional regulation and peer relationships than fathers. It really is fathers who can have a major influence on helping their children build strong social relationships during childhood and later in life.

Fathers of Children at Primary School
Learning to meet challenges
As children reach school age, they begin to grapple with learning more adult-like skills, testing them out in new environments, and dealing with the feelings evoked by successes and failures. A sense of industry, or a belief that he or she can accomplish a goal or master a skill, is important to a child's developing sense of self-esteem. Fathers seem to be key teachers in this area. As one expert puts it, 'the quality of the father's involvement during this period is a crucial factor in determining whether the child develops the confidence and competence to meet new challenges in a positive manner.'
One reason that fathers have such an influential role at this time is because they tend to challenge their children to try new experiences and to become more independent. Challenged children have more opportunity to develop problem-solving skills. In one study, children whose fathers expected them to handle responsibilities, such as carrying scissors, crossing the street, or taking a bath alone, scored higher in tests of thinking skills. Accomplishing tasks at this age is so important, and fathers' involvement is so crucial, that fathers have a larger influence on their children's self-esteem at this age than do mothers.

By encouraging children to take on new challenges, fathers help them not only to learn new skills, but also to take responsibility for their own actions. [24] Fathers with a strong commitment to their family provide a model of responsible behaviour for their children. These children have an internal sense of control, which means that they are more likely to believe that their successes and failures are due to their own efforts rather than due to external factors. These children tend to take more responsibility for their actions and rarely blame others for their mistakes.

Fathers usually have a positive influence on their children's sense of industry, competence, and responsibility. However, if a father discourages his children and intrudes on potential learning situations by being too restrictive or imposing his own solutions, he will have a bad influence on his children. Whether this type of paternal behaviour is motivated by a desire to protect his child, by feelings of impatience or frustration, or by his lack of trust in the child, it can hamper children's development of creativity, motivation, and problem-solving skills, making them less responsible and more dependent.

If you wish to read the full article on the website, the original article can be found here.

Grease!

Lil and I were at my sons' school this evening, watching 'Grease'! The hall was packed, and all three nights of the show were sold out. The audience was truly entertained; the singing and acting were not perfect but were entertaining. The castings were superb. The props were awesome, but I maybe biased since Haziq prepared the 'Car'. Remember the car, which Danny and Sandy used for the drive-in movie?

I was taken back to my first year in England, waking up to summer days and nurturing dreams throughout the summer nights. I was falling in and out of love on daily basis, admiring every single girls with pony tails who happened to smile at me. I was seventeen, awkward and too self conscious to make any positive impression on any girl, but I was in love...even if, I was only in love with love.

The memories of those first summer days were brought alive this evening, and of all places, amidst teen agers and their parents inside my sons' school hall, here in Jeddah.

Ahah, I enjoyed this evening! Well done boys and girls.

"Apakah cita-cita anak2 kita, agaknya?"

Written by Ariffin Mamat for STAR dot My.

Tuesday, 23 November 2010 02:34

Tiba-tiba teringatkan anak2 kita, the young STARIANS di Tingkatan Lima yang sedang menghadapi peperiksaan SPM sekarang ini. Apa agaknya perasaan mereka? Adakah mereka juga berdebar2 setiap kalimemasuki dewan, seperti berdebarnya aku pada penghujung tahun 1975 dulu? Bagaimanakah persediaan mereka? Semoga mereka lebih bersedia dari aku dan kawan2 yang terpaksa membakar minyak di tengah malam (burning mid-night oil lah!) diminggu2 terahir sebelum peperiksaan. Kepada mereka aku mengucapkan 'Selamat menempuh peperiksaan dan semoga berjaya, dan kejayaan dalam peperiksaan nanti memanjangkan langkah mengejar cita2! Apakah agaknya cita2 mereka? Di zaman aku dulu, ramai yang bercita2 menjadi jurutera, akauntan, arkitek, pensyarah, dan tidak kurang juga yang bercita2 menjadi guru dan polis. Aku sendiri terpaksa mengubah cita2 aku demi mencari peluang terbaik untuk menerima biasiswa untuk menyambung pelajaran ke luar negara. Justeru,untuk persaingan yang tidak sehangat bidang kejuruteraan, aku memilih untuk meneruskan pelajaran dalam bidang Physics . Aku berjaya mendapat biasiswa! Bermaksud aku berjaya mendekati cita2 aku waktu itu - untuk belajar di luar negara, di United Kingdom khususnya. Perbedzaan di antara aku dari ramai rakan2 aku ialah, cita2 aku tidak merupakan 'Pekerjaan' tetapi matlamat semasa aku. Jika waktu itu untuk ke UK, kemudiannya, cita-cita aku ialah untuk lulus dalam peperiksaan A Level supaya dapat ke Universiti. Setahun demi setahun aku hanya memasang cita2 untuk berjaya dalam peperiksaan supaya aku dapat pulang dan mendapat kerja yang baik di Malaysia nanti. Apa2 kerja pun okey lah,asalkan bergaji lumayan dan mampu membeli kereta, menyewa rumah dan membayar hantaran untuk berkahwin dengan girl-friend aku, budak TKC. She later on became my ex-GF, sebab dah jadi isteri lah! Di tahun ahir mengejar degree di Portsmouth, ketika aku melamun, aku menulis cita2 aku sebagai begini: > Starting salary must be above 2000. >First car, Nissan or Toyota Corolla. >To get married within one year. > To send money to mother at least RM500 per month. > To find job in KL. Alhamdullillah, aku lulus dan pulang dengan ijazah kepujian dalam bidang Physics Industry,mendapat kerja di Texas Instruments as an Engineer dengan gaji permulaan RM2200. Tiga bulan setelah bekerja,aku telah selamat berkahwin dengan exGF budak TKC tu, dan kami sharing membeli kereta Nissan Sunny 130Y, dan menyewa di Taman Melawati. Aku juga menunaikan janji aku untuk mengirim wang kepada Ibu. Setelah mendapat anak pertama,akumelamun lagi dan menulis cita2 seterusnya: > Bungalow house.> Mercedes > Annual vacation with family > House for Mother > One house for every child > Pergi Haji > Would be nice to have a driver! Begitulah aku dengan cita2 aku. Tidak sekali pun aku menulis satu2 pekerjaan sebagai cita2. Pada aku, pekerjaan hanya the means to the end. The end is my cita2 - iaitu mengejar my own definition of what happiness is to me. Jadi di ketika our young STARIANS menempuhi peperiksaan dan tentunya memikirkan 'Apakah cita-cita mereka?' aku ingin tinggalkan beberapa persoalan. "What will make you happy?" "Why would achieving that make you happy?" "What will be the means for you to get those happiness?" Answering the above questions should lead you to visual images of what your happiness is like. In my view, and from my own experience, pursuing those images as your 'ambition' is more inspiring than focusing on a 'Profession'. Pekerjaan is exactly that -only a job! What a tragedy it is to one's life, if all we focus on is pursuing a particular job. Life is more meaningful when we are in pursuit of happiness and a higher level cause! What ever that higher level cause is for you. For some, making people they love happy and preparing for after life, are their main objectives in living. Please don't take my words as the absolute truth. All I want you to know is that, it has worked for me. For instance, when I was working in Singapore between 2000 to 2003, one of my ambitions was to come and live in Saudi to be close to Mecca. Alhamdullillah, I manage to get a job here and that has been a mean to achieve my real aspiration. Think about your ambition again. Perhaps, the profession you are focused on is only a mean to a more noble ambition! Be courageous to change - to focus on the 'your source of happiness' - and making sure you study hard as a mean to achieve that happiness! Visualize those dreams..."What you are able to conceive in your mind, you will be able to achieve! God willing of course".

Going the extra mile..

Through out my career I have seen, again and again, people who go the extra mile find it easier to move up their career ladder. They are happier and more confident with themselves too!

Going the extra mile may sound trivial and simple. However only a few actually go the extra mile as a matter of habit. For this group of people, it is part of their DNA. Let us discuss what does it take to make 'going the extra mile' a way of working that comes naturally, a habit!

I suggest there are three elements which need to be considered, which I will call the ABC of going the extra mile.

A. Anticipation!

- When you think you know what is expected of you, challenge that very mindset. Stretch it a little further. Anticipate and find out what will the output of your work be used for, by who, and when? Beat expectations on all those three fronts.

Let me illustrate.

The assignment may be given by your boss, but he may use the report to brief his boss, who in turn may use the information in his meeting with an investor. Your boss want the report to be ready by Monday morning.

Being an extra miler, you research the context of the report - and prepare it in a format which your boss can present to his boss, and include an executive summary which his boss can extract and use for his briefing with the investor. You have the report ready a few days in advance! That way, there is time for you to even do extra bit of work should your boss need additional information.

That is going the extra mile. An ordinary good employee finish the report by Monday morning as asked, in a format meant for the boss as the end user.

Similarly, going the extra mile in service is doing more than expected. Anticipating what your customer wants which is different from the other customer. Once, the hotel I was staying forgot my wake up call request. As a result I was late for my pick up. When I came back to my room in the evening, there was a cowboy hat filled with expensive chocolates and a letter from the manager, apologizing. It was a hotel in Dallas Texas, hence the cowboy hat! That happened way back in 1994, but to this date I still remember.

B. Basic!

In going the extra mile, make sure you cover the bases. The basic must be done very well, such as grammar, spellings, formatting, presentation, etc. Go the extra mile even in finding our what kind of fonts, and fonts size does your boss normally use when he writes his report for higher level. Going the extra mile in the basics ensure the effort you put into content will not be diluted by some silly mistakes!

The manager of the hotel, in making the gesture with the hat and the chocolates, did not forget the basic. He apologized! Apologizing for the mistake and my inconvenience was basic, the hat and the chocolates were the frills to thrill~!

C. Critical!

Be critical on your own work. Challenge it like your boss does, and better still challenge it like his boss would! Being critical and not easily satisfied with the outcome of your work is a crucial part of going the extra mile.

The manager of the hotel in Dallas Texas did not simply place some chocolates in a box on my bed, but he placed it in a very nice cowboy hat! In fact I brought home the hat as a souvenir. He empathize with me, and was critical on his hospitality standards.

It is in going the extra mile that we gain satisfaction, feel good about ourselves, and may even be rewarded for it. In the end, we gain trust from the people we deal with, and we differentiate ourselves from the rest!

If you are still in doubt, just think of what the initials of Going the Extra Mile spells!

- GEM, it is!

Haziq and friends - doing it their way~!

Haziq and two of his friends are on a mission! The video below tells a story ...



Their first project is 'Put out the flame...~!', a call to youngsters to say NO to smoking.



I hope to see many more in the near future...~!

The limbs of Sujud are seven...

A Friday morning sharing...

Cara Sujud yang betul , gambar ter atas!

Dan di bawah, cara yang betul ialah yang cara lelaki yang berjubah !

"Waktu yang paling hampir dengan Allah ialah ketika kita sujud kepada Nya!"

This is based upon the Hadith of Ibn Abbas who reported that the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said:

"I was commanded to prostrate on seven bones i.e. on the forehead along with the tip of my nose (and the Prophet -pbuh- pointed towards his nose), both hands, both knees and the toes of both feet, and not to gather the clothes or the hair."

Common mistakes are

- the tip of the nose not touching the sejadah.

- the toes not curled to touch the sejadah.

- having hair or cloth between forehead and the sejadah.

Bimbingan Solat boleh di baca di sini.

Lihatlah bagaimana, janin di dalam kandungan juga sujud apabila mendengar bacaan ayat-ayat suci Al Quran. Klik Di sini.

May your prayer be accepted by Allah.

Allah hu Aklam.

Online marketing...House for Sale!

Sudah bertambah ramai usahawan berjaya sejak berkembangnya -internet- sebagai satu saluran sales & marketing.

Ada yang buat bisness tudung2 dan berbagai jenama pakaian, ada yang mengambil tempahan berbagai jenis masakan, ada yang menjual pinggan mangkuk. Tak kurang juga yang mengiklankan rumah untuk di jual.

Untuk menepati internet marketing, sudah tentunya kemahiran mengambil gambar dan video juga di perlukan. Sebagai contoh, kami menggunakan perhidmatan professional juru video untuk mengambil clip 4 minit video rumah semi D untuk di jual.

Mutu video yang di berikan kepada kami amat memuaskan. Bayaran amat berpatutan.

You may watch the video below.

Country Height, Kajang and you may contact propertyhdv.com for further details about the professional service. This advertisement is available on Vimeo.

Rendah Hati~!

Menjadi rendah diri hati.

Ketika kita berada di mercu kejayaan, kita biasanya tidak berfikir tentang situasi sekiranya kita jatuh ke bawah. Kita sering terlupa kepada mereka yang menyumbang ke arah kejayaan kita, terutamanya jika mereka lebih cenderung menyembunyi diri dari 'spotlight'.

Ironisnya tak kala berada di puncak lah kita harus lebih memandang ke bawah, memerhati dan mengambil pengajaran daripada cara "orang2 kecil" memberi perkhidmatan mereka dengan perasaan bersyukur dan rendah hati.

Amalan ini dapat menyedarkan kita dan sentiasa berjejak di bumi nyata. Sekiranya di takdirkan kita menempuhi suasana yang kurang bergemerlapan, dengan menghampiri mereka di bawah ketika kita berada di puncak, mungkin ada di antara mereka yang sudi meminjamkan cahaya harapan dan bantuan ketika kita memerlukan.

Saya mengucapkan 'Selamat Hari Raya Eidil Adha - Maaf Zahir Batin' kepada semua rakan2, pembaca. Semoga amalan dan doa kita di terima Allah.

27th anniversary!

"Happy Anniversary !"

This is a special month for my wife and I. Tomorrow, 13th November, we will be celebrating our 27th Anniversary, as husband and wife, a life-long partnership. And if we add to that the three years of our friendship prior to our marriage, it means we have known each other for 30 years. I have not spent as much of my life time with anyone else - than with my wife. We are as happy today if not happier, as we were during the care free students days in Portsmouth, South of England when we first met.

Alhamdullillah!

Our marriage had gone through the ups and downs, perhaps like most marriages would. While a few could not survived the tests, ours becomes stronger. We become aware of our limits and adapt. We become appreciative of what we have, and less envious of what we don't have.

I was once a young man who were more interested in chasing rather than nurturing. She was once a young girl who have read all about love from thousands of pages of Mills & Boons.

We met, and the term 'odd couple' couldn't have found a better example than us. I was out-going, temperamental, always broke, and prefer to spend my days sleeping and my nights seeking entertainments. She was homely, diligent in her studies, down to earth and stable, and at peace with herself and contented just to spend her time with a book and some roasted chestnuts.

We were aware of our differences; but we were also aware of the similarities. We were attracted to our differences; and bonded by our similarities, one of which has been mutual respect. That, in a nutshell, has been the secret of our longevity and happiness.

Lately, we have been talking a little about our life post my retirement. We are both excited with all the possibilities.

In the mean time, we are enjoying our life in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. Mekah is an hour drive away, and Medinah is the same distance by air. We are very fortunate indeed.

Enjoying life as it comes, with healthy dosages of humor and a sense of adventure, have been the oxygen of our marriage.

This month is also a special month for all Muslims. To all our friends who are performing Hajj, we wish you 'Haji yang Mabroor'. InshaAllah, we are planning to travel to Mekah during this Hajj season, and jika ada rezki, dapat kita bertemu.

Writing competition / Peraduan menulis~!

Assalamualaikum wbt :-)

Dear blogger friends,

Here is a simple and fun way of earning some 'wang raya'. All you need to do is write a 'true' story about your most memorable Ramadhan, in not less than 2608 words. Just send your story to me at ariffin007@gmail.com before 1st September 2010.

The story boleh di tulis dalam Bahasa Malaysia or in English.

Semua stories yang di hantar menjadi milik tuan punya blog 'Diary Sebelum bersara' dan jika terpilih boleh di cetak kembali dalam apa jua bentuk, tetapi credit akan di beri kepada penulis yang menghantar story tersebut.

Cerita hendaklah original!

Pemenang akan menerima hadiah 'WANG RAYA' bernilai RM2608.00 dan akan di kreditkan ke akaun tuan / puan sebelum Hari Raya.

1. Most memorable Ramadhan / atau, Ramadhan yang di kenang!

2. Not less than 2608 words / Tidak kurang dari 2608 perkataan!

3. The story must be original. If any part of the stories which is found to be unoriginal, then the entry will be disqualified/ Cerita mestilah 'original'. Jika di dapati ada bahagian cerita yang tidak original, maka penyertaan tersebut akan di batalkan.

4. Closing date 1 st september 2010/ Tarih tutup ialah 1 hb September 2010.

5. Entries must be sent to ariffin007@gmail.com / Penyertaan harus di hantar kepada ariffin007@gmail.com

6. All entries will become the properties of the sponsor of this competition / Semua penyertaan menjadi hak milik penaja peraduan ini.

7. The sponsor reserve the right not to award any grand prize, in which case top five entries will receive RM200.00 consolation prize. Jika tiada pemenang grand prize, lima penyertaan terbaik akan menerima sagu hati bernilai RM200.00 setiap satu.

8. Juri pengadil akan di umumkan setelah tamat tarih peraduan

9. The judges decision will be final. Keputusan pengadil adalah muktamad.

10. To qualify, all entries must not publish nor have been published in any form or in any media.

11. The winner or winners will be announced in 'Diary Sebelum Bersara' dan the entries maybe be published in this blog.

12. We will respect your privacy, and if you do not wish for your real name to be mentioned then you may use a nickname. Kami akan menghormati 'privacy' anda, jika anda tidak mahu mengguna kan nama sebenar, penyertaan boleh menggunakan nama samaran.

Best wishes, Selamat menulis~!

Astaghfirulah...oh God forgive me!

Physically, I am beginning to feel my age. My knees often creak under my weight and have to be aided with creative ways to climb up slopes. My eyes can no longer read cooking instructions on ready-to-cook packets of offerings from Maggie or Knorr. Although I have not yet heard, my children often tell me, I make snoring sound when I sleep. Loud one too, they say. My wife has been avoiding a direct answer when I ask her for confirmation of those claims. So, I shall remain in doubt - maybe, I don't actually snore. Maybe, I only make similar sound!

Emotionally, I am also beginning to feel my age. The most trivia of things can make me choke with emotion. Acts of kindness, just as acts of indifference affect me. My radar has become super sensitive, so much so, I am beginning to detect un-caring and un-loving vibes even in the silence that echo around me.

Spiritually, I am finding more solace in the stillness of the night, doing nothing but just watching the darkness. Uttering nothing, but just remembering Him. Silence has a different meaning, and being alone is becoming less lonely. Death starts to become a destination which is more real. Death brings renewal. The old gives way to the new and young. Even within me, I find the thought of death brings renewal to my being; trying everyday to be a better man. Every morning lately, I begin to think of what I need to do, and more importantly what I shall not do. Solace and peace, begin to radiate from within. I like my new me!

"Astaghfirullah...astaghfirullah....astaghfirullah...." Oh Allah, forgive me....

I am very grateful to God that I will be turning fifty-three in a week's time, still relatively healthy and happy. I have a wife who loves me. She doesn't say it often, but I know she does. I have my children, who are doing well and turning out to be even better with every passing day. They are always in my doa, and they are always in my thought. I am also happy, knowing that with every tear drop I shed for reasons which shall remain as my own, I am blessed with love in my heart.

it has taken me this long to be wise
it is for death, that we live this life
our destination is paradise

and worldly things will never suffice!

it has taken me this long to understand

the magic of God's grand plan

water from the sea, rise to the sky and falls on land

when He so wishes, He turns green the desert sand!

it has taken many nights alone to make me see

love between humans, are all temporary

it is His love and loving Him which stay till eternity

it has taken me long, and now I know, love is within me!

On August 26th, I will turn fifty three

it has taken me this long, but now I am free

Oh Allah, please forgive me!

Budaya Sambung Meja - uniquely Malaysian!

Bersama keluarga Hj Z and his extended family~!

Budaya Kita...Budaya Sambung Meja!
Saturday, 14 August 2010 05:50

When I was in Kuala Lumpur, my sister from Kelantan and all four of her children and their respective families came visiting us in KL in conjunction with her youngest daughter's convocation. Together with my own family, there were nineteen adults and half a dozen kids. We went to Mid Valley, and decided to have lunch at the Kenny Rogers.

What did we do?

We went to the usher and said, "Nineteen adults and six children!"

The Kenny Rogers girl, straight faced, said, "Give us 5 minutes Encik, kami sambung meja!"

I took a glance into the outlet and wondered how on heaven's earth was she going to do it. The restaurant was already three quarter full.

We hanged around outside, window spying into the nearby Poh Kong. No, none of the girls in Poh Kong believed for a moment that they were about to get lucky with nineteen hungry looking man and woman! They simply ignored us, which was good for my pocket...hahahaha!

"Serious darling, I meant it when I offered you that diamond bracelet, but they did not layan us, so what to do!" I had to explain to my daughter! *Chuckles! teehehehe*

Five minutes plus a few seconds later, the same usher from Kenny Rogers gestured for us to enter. We paraded in to some curious stares from other patrons. Twenty five in all, and all seated around a few tables joined into one very long master dining table. Fantastic!

It was then that i reflected. This is why Malaysia is so unique and Malaysians so special. it is in the culture. We try out best not to let anyone within a group to feel left out. We do what we can to accommodate everybody. The culture of 'Sambung Meja' is uniquely Malaysians!

The same can be seen happening in plush restaurants or in roadside stalls. Part of the training given to waiters and waitresses, it seems, is to take the 'Sambung Meja' task in their stride. No group is too large, and no space is too small. They will always find a way to 'Sambung Meja! and they know the customers simply expect and love it!

No, please don't expect the same overseas. It is not common and not done. Often, all you would get is a shrug of the shoulder and a curl of the lips, "Sorry, you will have to sit separately!"

"Sorry, we are Malaysians, we want to 'Sambung Meja!'" I wonder what would their reaction be if I were to insist with this request.

Exactly the same thing happened when sixteen of STAR old boys met for dinner at the KLGCC as was reported HERE. Instead of sitting comfortably at two tables of eight, we changed the big comfortable chairs with narrower ones to fit 16 around ONE table.

Guess what? We were even more comfortable. Sitting elbow to elbow, we were able to share jokes, and connect eye to eye with everyone present. No one was left out!

Di Konvo itu....

The car park was full. I managed to get the last one right at the end. That didn't bother us. That morning was not like any other morning. I was happy and brimming with pride. My wife Aishah was seemingly just as happy, if not more. And she deserves to be, for while I was chasing my career it was her who had given the necessary attention to our children's education. That morning both of us were accompanying Fariz, our son, to his convocation at the University Malaya.

At the car park mother and son stood still for a few minutes. I caught that special moment on camera. The moment when a motherly love was much needed even for a graduating young man who was about to spread his wings to fly free from our nest. He needed someone to pin his stripes to the collar of his convocation gown. Who better to do it but a mother!

When all was done and Fariz started to look like a man with a mission, we walked briskly out of the sun heading for the convocation hall. Just as we ascended the stairs, Fariz met with a group of his friends, and they spontaneously posed in a line for me to capture their memorable day. I was more than happy to oblige!

I turned looking for my wife. It was then that I saw the girl. She has just parked her honda cup motorcycle and was holding her gown in her hand. She then rushed to the shade of a tree. She hanged her gown on one of the branches, and straightened her hair. I stood still watching. I closed the lenses of my camera, and moved to the side of a pillar so that she did not notice me watching her.

The girl was putting on her gown. She was struggling to pin the stripe. It was not an easy task. Nobody noticed her. Everyone was in their own cloud nine, celebrating! No one noticed the girl who arrived on a honda cup. Even if someone did, no one gave a second glance. After all, it has become such a norm these days that everyone come in a car to a convocation !

That morning I saw an exception. The girl was alone. There was no mother to help her to pin her stripe. No father trailing to take her pictures. No siblings to carry flowers or teddies. Not even friends to tease with something silly. I saw she was biting her lips holding back emotion, her eyes void of twinkles seen on others around her. Who was the girl? Where were her parents? Many questions rushed to my head. When she could not reach the back of her shoulder, she could not hold back her emotion much longer. She leaned against the tree and her body shook. She wept. At that instant my vision became misty with own tears.

Out of no where, my wife suddenly appeared, beaming with a smile. I quickly turned away and wiped my eyes with the sleeve of my shirt.

"What happened?" Asked my wife.
"Something got into my eyes!" I gave a feeble excuse. She knew better as my lips were still quivering.
"Nangis happy lah tu ye!" She said, teasingly.
"Aha!" I nodded, and managed a small laughter.
"I am hungry, let us go get something to eat before we go into the hall!" My wife gestured towards the canteen. I glanced back towards Fariz who has already joined his friends making their way to their meeting point. I turned towards the tree where the girl was, she was gone! So was her gown.

That morning, just when I thought nothing could dent my happiness, I was affected and carried a lump in my throat into the convocation hall. The image of the girl, alone, without anyone to share her happy moments with, stuck to me like my own shadow. Sitting in the hall amongst hundreds of parents, all proud and overjoyed, I was momentarily lost in a flash back of the image of the weeping girl under a tree! Perhaps, a flashback of a time and place long ago in the past when I too was on my own!

i was jolted to the reason why I was there when the Emcee announced the arrival of the VC. Everyone rose to their feet. For an instance, I saw a glimpse of Fariz standing on the very front row reserved for the graduates. He turned, and our eyes locked for a brief few seconds. Yes, I was so proud to see him standing there, looking every bit like a man who were going to win matches in his life!

I scanned the hall looking for the girl. Standing with her chin down to her chest, she was there in the third row. I was urging her to look my way. I wanted so much to reach out to her! She didn't. Through out the ceremony, my eyes were shifting between Fariz and that girl. When it was her turn to walked up to the VC to receive her scroll, biting my quivering lips I applauded quietly.

That morning, at the convocation, I was reminded ... that special moments are more special when we can share with people we love. Loneliness is even more lonely when it is felt in the presence of hundreds of happy others!

That morning I felt for the girl. To her, I would like to dedicate this greeting, "Congratulations! If your parents were there, they would have been proud of you, You have done it alone. You can be very proud of yourself! May God Bless You!"

To Fariz, "Congratulation son! Go far, go for the stars! Always look down to where your feet are...~!"

Pole Dancing - uncensored~!

Watch only if you know what 'Pole Dancing' means and that you do not find it offensive~!

The video was recorded by an 'amateur' who happened to be at the scene, hence the poor sound quality.

In any case, the dancer is adorable, perhaps because I do like 'montok2 gitu! hehehe'.

Haziq won~!

Haziq, having quiet moments watching the world goes by. The caption he wrote on this profile picture on his facebook reads,

"As cars and people pass
It feels like standing still but I know
I'm just moving uncomfortably slow.

I'll get there someday. :)"

Haziq, 16yrs old and will soon be sitting for his final exams for GCSE is studying at JESS, one of the international schools in Dubai.

Today I received this sms from my wife who is in Dubai, "Haziq won a prize in a photo competition run by Murdoch University!"

For his winning, he received one of these fuji cameras as the prize. As a show of support and knowing that Haziq already has a Canon 40D, his class teacher has offered to purchase the camera at a premium! In fact, I was told that upon getting the news, the teacher immediately sent out an announcement to the whole school! She too was proud.

The picture at the top is the winning entry, and the picture below is his prize! The theme, as I understood from Haziq today, was 'Street Life in Dubai'!

Needless to say, I am very proud of his achievement and knowing how thrilled he is, makes me truly happy.

Let me gloat, let me brag. I am just proud, my son has a prize in the bag~! Amongst other photos he has captured are displayed below: