My notes - menerima menantu pertama!

This is our first time! I am sure there are many parents out there who will be going through their first experience too. A few months ago I was agonizing and over-analyzing how was I to go through the 'Merisik', then 'Meminang' and 'Bertunang' and the ultimate parental anxiety, to organize a wedding for our eldest son?

A few notes from my own experience:

> Over thinking and over analyzing did not help. Instead, my wife and I asked friends who have gone through similar experience in recent times, and we adapted their experiences to suit our beliefs and values.

> Always include the elder members of the family in each of the ceremonial event. In our case, my MIL and my oldest paternal uncle have been at the center of our entourage. Our tradition, and one which I like a lot, respects the elders.

> Build rapport and gain trust early with the parents and family members of your 'Bakal Menantu'. Mutual respect and camaraderie go a long way in smoothing the traditional ceremonies and in providing a positive foundations for the newly weds. I am lucky, our 'Besan' are God sent to us!

> Level your cost and the preparation not with what you can afford, but with what your life style has been. We have been living very moderately, hence our wedding preparations are also very moderate in nature.

> If there is a conflict between 'Adat' and 'Islamic teachings', always go with what is Islamic!

> Consult close friends and relatives in coming up with the guest list. This is important so that we minimize errors of excluding any one by mistakes. Many unintended enemies are created by making people who feel they should have been invited but were not!

> Avoid wastage in every aspect; expensive invitation cards, too much food, excessive decoration, unpractical gifts, etc..

> Engaged the service of a reliable wedding organizer. In our case, we use a 'One Stop Center' who takes care of the venue, food and caterings, entertainment, up to drawing up a program based on our needs. 

> Of course, bring up your children with Islamic values and moderation throughout their lives. In our case, our son has grown to be a very reasonable and responsible young bridegroom. Alhamdullillah...

> Most important preparation of all, is to extend prayers and do'a to Allah for Him to bless our lives and to guide us to the right path.

Our wedding reception for Adlil Hafiz and Rosliza will be on Friday 23rd December 2011. Last Saturday, 17th December, we attended the ceremony hosted by the bride's parents in Raub, Pahang.

Adlil Hafiz dan Rosliza - Makan Beradab di Majlis Resepsi
keluarga pengantin perempuan di Raub Pahang,
 17th December 2011.