24 years...."of beautiful flight!"

*warning - If you are allergic to confessions of 'love' please skip this page*

Tonight

I sneaked out of bed

when I thought you have fallen asleep

....because I wanted to write

something special, something sweet

"Happy anniversary darling.....

......24 years of bliss, and still counting...!"

I google'd for love poems

I looked for you-tube songs

but in the end

I settled for words of my own

"Happy Anniversary dearest....

....thank you for the most wonderful 24 years!"

Tonight, on the eve of our anniversary

I recall - it all began in the summer of nineteen eighty

You accepted my invitation to a circus

we walked the sea front of Portsmouth

like two swans in flight

we felt - being together was just right

we let ocean breeze wiped away our worries

for together, we were free and happy

spreading our wings...

trusting our feelings....

Twenty four years ago today

you were a young and shy bride

I was a lucky man filled with pride

we started our journey - oh, what a flight!~

Tears and laughter, and occassional fights

Trust and Forgiveness, an eternal soul-mates.

Twenty four years that have passed

accumulated memories which made us, us

of fullfilled promises, and undying dreams

of unified wishes for a beautiful ending

of seeing till the end - what we started as friends

through thick and thin -we will share what life brings.

Through all these years, I have known to be true

- It doesn't matter where I go in life…or what I do
Or how much I have...whether it is red or blue

I am most happy when I am with you ! -

Please hang on tight - be with me

for the best....is yet to be

let us find joy in continue flying

for another twenty four years - with all of life's blessings.

I can keep on writing....turning words into poems

but I'd rather rejoin you in bed....sharing in your dreams

With a gentle kiss, let me wish you

"Happy anniversary darling - My love is true!"

*If you managed to read this far and still feel pretty ok - thank you for participating in celebrating our little anniversary jubilation*

Life of a bapak!

'bapak' yang harus kita bersimpati

My idea of a macho 'bapak'

I stole the title from this blog.

This topic can be expanded into a novel - of maybe 500 pages. Afterall, I have been a bapak for the last 23 years - and to six anak! However, my story as a bapak will not be half as interesting and LiL's story as an ibu. So to any would be publishers, you are well advised to go along with her story ....

But I do have a story to tell. My target audience is not any would be bapak - hence this is not for educational purposes! It is also not for existing bapaks - you already have a story of your own to deal with. This story is for ibu-ibu....hehehehe.....especially ibu-ibu who are currently unhappy with their own bapak-bapak.

"As a bapak we sleep late, wake up late, have our foods served on silver plates. We don't do dishes nor wash our own clothes. We could never find sugar jars nor the tin openers from ibu's kitchen whenever 'ibu' is not around. It puzzles us why 'ibu' don't just leave everything everywhere - which makes it easier to find. Afterall, we always find our remote controls and that is because we simply leave them everywhere.

One more thing you need to know, we bapak are deaf to any babies crying at night. We simply can't hear their wailing. Changing diapers is a no no. That is so ibu-ibu and not sightly for us bapak to be seen doing so. We will be a laughing stock amongst our friends. You wouldn't want us to be laughed at, do you?

If we go shopping together, we can't be seen carrying your shopping bags. Please ask one of our childen to do so if you need help. Cammon la, as a bapak we are too busy to show our children to do their homework la.....and any little time we have is to catch up with our mates over teh tarik at a mamak stall.

And who says that as bapak we need to have decent conversation with our children. Isn't it enough that we provide them with their pocket money and we ocassionally make grunting sound and nod our head when they talk to us.

As ibu, please don't be annoyed of we kick off our shoes anywhere and leave them there for you to pick them and store carefully in the shoe rack. It is an accepted bapak's habit.....for centuries.

If we turn over and snore after our 'little bedtime game' - it is because as a bapak we must rest for tomorrow's work. Anyway, what is ibu doing staying awake for? We bapak find that hard to understand.

Life as a bapak is 'hunting' to bring foods home. Sometimes as a bapak we come home injured - emotional drained, physically exhausted, and mentally jaded. We then expect 'ibu' to swallow all of her own frustrations and tend to us without questions. Other times, we come home expecting a lot - hot tea in a cup on a saucer, 'ibu' in her best home dress with glossy lipstick freshly applied, children quietly doing their homework in their own rooms, soft musics playing, and 'ibu' looking at us adoringly while we unwind from another hard days work. A bapak - afterall is the King of his castle."

If I remind you of someone in your own house - take solace in the similarity. If I sounds far fetched from the hero character you have read in so many novels - stop believing the novels. Life is far too real for you to live in a fantasy land. :-)

Ok, I do the odd dishes. And I do take out the garbage bins. Ah yes, I am the one who goes round the house at night making sure all doors and windows are locked. And more often than not, I am the one who volunteer first to give LiL her shoulder massage....which often leads her to return the favour. But I am no angel, and wish to remain as the King of my house. Hehehe

This entry is partly inspired by a Korean series I watched on cable TV today - Two 'bapaks' were put side by side to share what type of a 'bapak' they are. One is a successful sugeon - and he sounded in control of his destiny. Another is a singer - he potrayed himself as an ideal husband who does dishes and all sort of chores. The surgeon looked like a happier man, looking youthful despite them being of the same age group (Mid fourties). The singer sounded very bitter. One of the things the surgeon said is worthy of repetition "A bapak who focus too much in pleasing his wife often compromises his ability to be at his best in his work and not so good socially as well".
To which the singer replied spontaneously,
"No wonder I have not a hit song for years - I have spent too much time doing the dishes".

My point from this rambling is .......to all 'ibu-ibu' and including my 'beloved ibu - LiL ( hehehe....I am smiling sheepishly) treat your man like a king in his palace - and he will be happier, stay youthful for longer, and become more successful in his career too. And it is more likely that your King will treat you like a special queen after the bedroom light is switched off......when it matters on the mattresses!

But if you let your 'bapak' slaves it out at home - he will be one grudgingly, believe me! Just look at the top picture.....do you think he is a happy man? We would not want to be seen in his company.....not in a million years. hahahaha

Now - I am ready to be shot!!! hehehehe

Should this blog one day goes silent

no more replies to your comments

and new entry not to be seen

would you be asking...."how have I been?"

I wonder.....

Who am I, but a blogger

known to only a few, to others a mere writer

and if one day, I remain in sleep

and all my passwords scattered at my feet

would you visit me at my final resting place?

Or in my absence you seek solace?

I wonder......

Here close to me are people I often ignore

in my earnest pursuit of reaching different shores

and should my children weep my final departure

and in silent tears they will say prayers

"Daddy is gone - God loves him dearly

In Heaven he rests and looks down on us smilingly"

Should this blog one day goes silent

wonder no more....

for I may have found my reason.

Tears ... are words a heart can't bear to say

my tears flow, just thinking of the final day

Would I pass the test

Have I been at my best?

Forgive me God....for all of my sins

In the night darkness, I stay awake counting

My days are indeed numbered

it has taken me this long to have that figured

In you O the Merciful and Compassionate

I place my trust, my fear, my hope.

A reminder unfolds before my very eyes

In life and death, we choose our own ways

"Which way shall I take?"

"Take the God's way" I'm reminded of that today!

Should this blog one day goes silent

wonder not how have I been.....

For I may have made my choice

To make up for the time I have lost.

But I won't bid farewell

I may return one day with a story to tell...

.....

(I offer arwah Al Fatihah )

(I offer her and her children prayers)