Cerita pasal burung~!

I woke up to a melodious alarm, did a 'menggeliat kucing farsi gemuk gedempul' and pulled the blanket for an extended snooze.

Actually, I tried hard to continue the 'mimpi indah menerima menantu' which was interrupted by the alarm from my blackberry. Snooze I did but the dream didn't come back. On cue, fifteen minutes later the oriental chime tone came alive again and this time I sat upright on my bed, staring out of the window.

Green leaves waved promisingly to a glorious morning, a sole bird was leaping from branch to branch. Was it the same bird as yesterday? I made a mental note of the bird's physical appearance so that I can check the next morning, if it would be the same one everyday which come to peek into my bedroom. Huh, I realized the birdie was in the company of a burung kakak tua which was reaching out from under its contraints! No wonder lah that little birdie on the tree branch was chirping so merrily, I smiled at the thought!

Lazily I did some yoga movement, just to get my rusty joints going.

Creeeekkkk, cruuukkkkk, sang my lower back. Huh, it felt so damn nice actually when my belikat made such sound. I then held up my knees to my chest and lowered my face in between. No, not to have a closer look at my burung, but to stretch my neck muscle!

Since a few days ago when I was in Dubai I have been having such delicate nerve in my neck, that any form of sudden movement resulted in sharp pain which traveled mercilessly and instantaneously down my spine.


Scary, the thought that it may affect the vitality of any unsuspecting burung! In fact, on the last day in Dubai, I went for a Thai massage at a place called 'Relax' in Jumeirah. The soothing sound of trickling water and birds chirping did wonder to relax me, so much so, I dozed off and was awoken only when the lady masseur whispered, 'Turn over!'

Honestly, I was embarrassed for when I was turning over I realized that one particular burung was in conversation with the birdie sound that was coming from the speakers discreetly placed behind some kind of potted plants. Behave, boy, behave! I commanded to be 'at ease!'

I got out of bed, walked to the window and made small tapping sound on the window panes. I was trying to attract the bird's attention. The damn thing buat donno and completely ignored me! I knew then, it was there not to flirt with any burung kakak tua, but in fact it was teasing my son's burung pipit in the next room. Obviously, it was a bird innocent of worldly things, for if it were like any young birdies hovering over the skyline of metropolitan cities like KL, then it would have known better - a burung kakak tua nearly always worth a lot more than a young burung pipit! Alas, birdies in Saudi are pure and uncorrupted, so they claim!

After a good hot shower, I toweled myself, standing in front of my bedroom mirror. Feeling rather jilted by the birdie outside my window a few minutes ago, I took good look at myself.

Errrm, I was quickly reminded by a psychological study which said, "A man tends to see only the better parts of himself in the mirror, while a woman tends to notice everything unattractive! "
How I managed to miss my expanded pot belly, but smiled gleefully at what little muscle I have in my bi-cepts, really underscored the pyscho study! Some modesty still existed in me, I intentionally ignored the temptation to stare further down, the burung kakak tua saved from any untowards remark!

I chose one of my favourite shirt today - the one I purchased at Marks & Spencer, and paid AED220.00 for it, after 15% discount. The kind of luxurious display which would normally attract KL birdies to feed out of one's palm. I chose my favourite pair of pants, blue with ever so subtle silvery pin stripes. Huh, something was not quite right! I could not hook the button without exhaling much of the air from my stomach ~! In a state of denial, I blamed the maid for shrinking my pants by washing it the wrong way! But, changed to a baggy pair of pants I did. My ego did deflate a little though, as I made stride towards my car.

"Good morning sir!" greeted one Pinoy maid. I smiled, and return a good morning greeting.
Wonderful!

She actually gave me a reason to smile, simply because she was smiling. And by smiling, my stride automatically became bigger and with added springs! Half way to my car, 'Sonny' our cat from previous stay here came running towards me. I stopped briefly, to stroke his furs and tickled his chin and under belly. Ah, he loved that! And, that darling, was the reason I wrote this episode - for while I was doing that to 'Sonny' I was thinking of you.

I missed you...missing waking up next to you, stroking your hair and tickling ur cheeks and ribs! Not to mention, the nestling warmth much missed by a burung, kakak tua as it may be!


And with that, I was jolted, and kicked Sonny out of my way. How could I! I meant how could I started feeling affection for an over-fed, unkept cat ( and a male one too!), and be thinking of you, darling. I felt similar kind of guilt like I was 'bermain kayu tiga!' No, not that I know how 'bermain kayu tiga' would make a man feel. I won't bother finding out!

That was also the reason why I called you before I started the car engine this morning. Our conversation must have gone a little steamy, for I realized a sudden swelling between my trouser's pockets. You reminded me of what I was missing last night and when I woke up this morning. Only a little while after that, it dawned on me, you too must have been missing the same thing~! And I felt much better, despite having been ignored by that little birdie from outside my bedroom window earlier. Believe me, it is always nice to feel wanted!

Here is loving and missing you~!

Leadership isn't always about you...

Leadership Isn't About You!

This week's question for Ask the Coach:

I am having a difficult time leading my team. The team members will not follow my instructions, which I am sure would make our project much more successful. What am I doing wrong?

What you're doing wrong is very simple: you have simply forgotten that your team is more critical to the success of your project than you are.

Over the years, I have worked with many great leaders as an executive educator and coach. One client, Charlie (not his real name), in particular is still one of my favorites. He is the one who showed the most improvement — and he is the one who I spent the least amount of time with.

Charlie was president of a division with more than 50,000 employees. His CEO recognized his talents and asked me to help Charlie expand his role, provide more leadership, and build synergy across the organization. Charlie eagerly involved his team in this project. Each person took responsibility for creating positive synergy with cross-organizational colleagues. They regularly reported their efforts, learned from their colleagues, and shared what they learned. They thanked people for ideas and suggestions and followed up to ensure effective implementation.

What I find interesting is that of all the clients I have every coached, Charlie is the client I spent the least amount of time with. This inverse relationship between our spending time together and he and his team getting better was very humbling. At the end of our project, I told Charlie about this observation. "I think that I spent less time with you and your team than any team I have ever coached, yet you and your team produced the most dramatic, positive results. What should I learn from my experience?"

Charlie thought about my question. "As a coach," he said, "you should realize that success with your clients isn't all about you. It's about the people who choose to work with you." He chuckled; then he continued: "In a way, I am the same. The success of my organization isn't about me. It's all about the great people who are working with me."

What an insight! This isn't what most of the conventional wisdom of leadership dictates. Most leadership literature exaggerates, even glamorizes, the leader's contribution. The implication being that everything begins with the leader, that she is responsible for your improvement, she guides you to victory, without the leader there is no navigator.

This isn't true. An oft-quoted proverb says: "The best leader, the people do not notice. When the best leader's work is done, the people say, 'We did it ourselves.'"

Truly great leaders, like Charlie, recognize how silly it is to believe that a coach or a leader is the key to an organization's success. The best leaders understand that long-term results are created by all of the great people doing the work — not just the one person who has the privilege of being at the top.

Readers: Please share your stories about teamwork and leadership. How do you lead your teams successfully? Is it about you or them?

The writer is:

Marshall Goldsmith is a world authority in helping successful leaders achieve positive, lasting change in behavior. Dr. Goldmith's 24 books include What Got You Here Won't Get You There, an NYT best seller, WSJ #1 business book and Harold Longman Award winner for Business Book of the Year. He has been recognized as one of the world's leading executive educators and coaches in BusinessWeek, the Economist, Forbes and The Times of London. His articles and videos are available online at MarshallGoldsmithLibrary.com and he can be reached at Marshall@MarshallGoldsmith.com His latest book is Succession: Are You Ready?

"Happy birthday Anis!"

Morning sun steals into Anis's bedroom, softly kissing her face. Still half asleep, Anis turns her face away from her bedroom window. She reaches for her mobile phone. Something which is not there disappoints her. No messages! No miss calls! "He doesn't care! No one cares..."she thought, and sinks deeper into reclusion. Without her consent, warm tears trickle down to her pillow.

The cycle of her ups and downs seems to be out of equilibrium. Lately, she is having more downs than ups. There are many mornings when she doesn't feel like getting out of bed at all. There are many nights when she can't seem to go to sleep without first creating some kind of a nightmare in her mind. She often wonders whether it is all worth the effort - the separation, the sacrifices, the absence!

Curling there under the warmth of her pastel yellow duvet, she some how feels unsafe! But unsafe from what? Living in Newcastle, a city of beer, coal mines and football has never made her feel unsafe. There are some fifty other Malaysian students there, and she has also met with two Malaysian ladies in their forties who are married to 'Mat Salehs' and have set up homes in the upper class end of Newcastle. Kak Nah and Alicia, both have been there for more than 20 years, but still speak fluent and very good Malay. In fact, kak Nah's Kedah slang is still as original as any makciks she knows back home. Not to mention her laksa and fish head curry! More than good enough to curb her yearning for Malaysian food.

Yet, when she is in her own room, she often feels unsafe. In the privacy of her room, sheltered from the reality of the world and demands of her studies and thesis, she let her imagination wonders wild into space. It is her imagination which makes she feels unsafe. She imagines about her future, her love life, her fiance thousands of miles away in Malaysia. Is he being faithful to her? Is he missing her, or even thinking of her? Why doesn't he send her a message or calls her on her birthday, today!
With that thought, her silent tears turns into a sob. She lets tears flow, and she lets her body shakes. In fact, the last time any communication between them has been a long time back, 17 days to be exact! That too was initiated by her! The last time Firdaus tried to call her was one month ago! "I called, but you did not pick up !" was what he claimed when she called back after seeing a missed call on her mobile.

The demands of her studies, trying to complete her PhD, is keeping her sane and going, and perhaps even living! Her heart has been broken to pieces before when her love of eight years ditched her to marry a daughter of a Dato'. She wanted the earth to open up and swallow her then. Eight years of dreams they painted together on a white and clean canvas shattered. Eight years of friendship which blossomed into a romance, adorned with countless memorable moments along the way vaporized into thin air. "How do you feel?" He asked, tightly embracing her.
"Blissful!" she whispered to him. That was on a night which changed her from being a girl to being a woman. That night, they drew their promises of a beautiful life together, to be happy ever after, on the white sandy beach of Pulau Pangkor. In that drawing in the sand, her heart was circled by his bigger heart. Then they both drew a box around the two hearts and sealed it with a lock! And they kissed under the moon light, their hands locked and their lips entwined. Their hearts shared a common rhythm, and they caressed and let slow danced to the songs of the ocean!

The recollection of the past, only makes her sobs turns into weeps. "Fendi! I hope you are happy...then at least my misery has some meaning to it!" she oftens comfort herself with the same mantra. His happiness, is her happiness!

She pulls her duvet to her face. She bites at the edge. he calms down. Biting and suckling the edge of the duvet provides her with some comfort, perhaps not unlike a baby seeking comfort in suckling a mom's nipple. Her weeps subsides into a sob. Soon after, her sobs stops altogether. She wipes her tears, take another look at her mobile and with a sigh, she gets up and out of bed.

"What ever will be will be! I am not getting hurt because of you Firdaus!" she walks into her bathroom. She needs to be ready! She has a group discussion within an hour. She likes her group discussion. The presence of her buddies, cheers her up! The focus on intellectual discussion, activate her mind away from idle emotional state. She loves it too when Idham, the guy who speaks English with heavy Kelantan slang, teases her....with and about anything! Idham is not as good looking as Firdaus, but he is gentle and very funny. If she needs a reason to smile, she needs only to think of him. And in his presence, she grins non-stops and laughter comes naturally.
"Errmm, why am I comparing Idham to Firdaus!" she mumbles over the noise from her hair drier.
She chooses her favourite blouse, just nice for the spring time weather. Or is it, Idham's favourite blouse? Whatever. She smiles...and for the first time since last summer, she applies a red gloss lipstick to her lips. "Muahhzzz!" she made the sound as she pouted her lips and admires her own beauty.
"Happy birthday to me!" she said, and blows a kiss to herself in the mirror!

end.
(cerita rekaan semata2...hehehe....idham sempat juga inter-frame tu! ahaks!!)