Bakpo?

Bakpo? Why the sudden talk about retirement?
Rasa dah penat makan gaji!

Bila?
August 26, 2012.

Why that date?
I will 55. Waktu itu, InsyaAllah...I wish to stop makan gaji. Itulah doa. Itu lah harapan. Namun, Allah jua yang lebih mengetahui...dan kita harus menerima dengan senang hati.

Apa rancangan setelah pencen?
Nak bisness. Macam2 idea ada. Harus lebih di fikirkan lagi, mana satu dan bagaimana!

Bagaimana dengan anak2?
InsyAAllah by that time, tiga sudah bekerja.
Dua di Universiti.
Yang Bongsu akan meneruskan pengajian di Malaysia.

Kenapa tidak terus saja bekerja...lagi pun kerjaya sekarang memberi kepuasan dan ganjaran yang baik~!
Rezki dimana2. Allah Kareem. Kepuasan berhidmat bermula dari dalam diri sendiri, bukan bergantung kepada tugas atau orang lain. Apa juga kerjaya yang kita berkecimpung, jika kita bersikap positif dan ihlas melakukan tanggung jawap, InsyAAllah kita akan mendapat ganjaran dan kepuasan.

Tidak kah terfikir untuk berhidmat pula kepada Masyarakat?

Memang ada. Apa2 pun khidmat kita kepada masyarakat, saya berpendapat 'memberi jala itu lebih baik dari memberi ikan!' Instead of focusing on charity based contribution, saya lebih suka untuk fokus dalam pembinaan minda, semangat, bakat dan kemahiran supaya anak-anak bangsa kita dapat mengubah nasib hidup mereka sendiri. Secara kebetulan, ini juga bidang kemahiran dan minat saya!

Joining politics?
Not actively from the front. Maybe from behind, providing support and intellectual input into a worthy political leader who wants my views.

Jadi, berapa hari lagi sebelum pencen?
Let us put it this way, bermula musim panas tahun ini, saya ada dua tahun lagi sebelum pencen. Satu penantian yang sungguh menyeronokkan.
Apa-apa pun, saya berserah kepada Allah untuk menentukan. Saya hanya mampu merancang dan berdoa.

Apakah doa harian?
Itu terlalu peribadi, di antara saya dan Dia.

What are your hopes and fears, as you count down towards your pension days?
Hopes: For my children to be successful in chasing their dreams. For them to live in Islam, as Muslims, and be better than me in all aspects!
For my wife and I to be blessed with good health and be protected from kesesatan dan di permudahkan urusan mencari keredhaanNya.

Fears: That my children tersesat dari ajaran Islam due to my own shortcomings as a father. One thing, which will make me shed tears in my old age will be to see any of my children not praying the lima waktu, not fasting in Ramadhan, not making time to read Al Quran, not paying their Zakat, not performing Haj and Umrah when they can affrord to, and not mentioning my name in their prayers.
I also fear that I akan terus terlalai...dari segala suruhan Nya.

You talked about shedding tears. When was the last time you shed tears and why?
Too personal to mention! I prefer not to cause any anxieties amongst people I love and amongst those who care for me, so I wish not to answer the question!

How do you think people who know you will describe you in a few words?
That I am sensitive, kind hearted, ambitious, positive minded, optimist, friendly, forgiving, informal. My wife may even say that I am romantics. Come to think of it, why don't you ask my wife, my children and those people to describe me instead? Their views will be less biased! hahaha.

Do you have any secrets from your wife?
I thought you said you wanted to interview me about my decision to retire. What has this question got to do with that? *rolls eyes*!

Ok, back to your retirement plan. Does your wife support this plan of yours?
My wife has been supportive of me, in good and bad times. She is the wind beneath my wings. She has been in the past, she is in the present, and InsyAAllah I pray that she will continue to be. She is my pillar of strength.

Thank you for answering my questions!
Not at all. My pleasure. By the way, what will be the topic of your next interview?

I am curious to know more about your career. What have made you successful!
Syukur Alhamdullillah, I have been lucky and blessed. Yes, I look forward to our next virtual interview.
Bye for now, wassalam.

Wassalam, and my salam to your lovely wife!
InsyaAllah.

Berbaloi~! kueh koci...

"Kita ke Lulu bang, I nak beli daun pisang!" kata LiL sebaik kami habis makan-makan Kuey Teow di Noodle Factory di Arabian Center.
"Daun pisang, nak buat apa? Jauh tu Lulu...nanti penat, ada excuse pulak malam nanti!" Aku memang dah fokus untuk conserve energy sewaktu bercuti di Dubai!
"Ada lah, nak buat kuih, nanti boleh bawak balek ke Jeddah!" Lil mengelak dari terjebak dengan perbualan mengenai topik2 selain dari daun pisang~!

Sambil memandu melalui the Emirates Road, kami sempat juga berbincang mengenai plan untuk bercuti ke Damascus, Syria pada bulan April nanti. Memang setahun sekali kami cuba untuk berkumpul sebagai satu keluarga, bercuti-cutian, demi memastikan kemesraan antara anak2 yang tinggal berasingan di tiga negara. Kali terahir bercuti-cuti bersama ialah Dec 2008, apabila kami ke Istanbul. Cuma yang terkilannya, April nanti Achik tidak dapat bersama kerana sedang menempuhi peperiksaan ahir.

Sempat juga berbual mengenai rancangan masa depan; berapa lama lagi di Timur Tengah ini sebelum pulang ke Malaysia? "Mungkin dua tahun lagi kita pulang lah, I pun dah penat bekerja" aku memberi pendapat. "Balik Malaysia nanti apa plan you?" tanya Lil.

Aku belum ada plan yang jitu. Cuma yang pasti, aku tidak mahu lagi makan gaji, walau apa jua jawatan. "I nak mula kan bisness yang boleh di ambil alih olih anak-anak nanti!" aku berkongsi angan2. Perbualan berkisar mengenai suasana politik dan ekonomi di Malaysia. Terasa pudar semangat! Walaupun hati begitu rindukan Malaysia dan ingin pulang, realitinya, Malaysia sekarang tidak seperti Malaysia dahulu.

Dahulu, wawasan negara ialah untuk pembangunan "Wawasan 2020!" dan fokus usaha kerajaan ialah untuk membangunkan negara dan memberi peluang pekerjaan kepada rakyat. Sekarang, kemelut politik memaksa kerajaan fokus terhadap perpaduan, lantas wawasan berpaksikan "1Malaysia" yang tidak memberi erti atau motivasi untuk rakyat bekerja kuat atau berusaha mengejar kejayaan. Sebaliknya, 1Malaysia memberi gambaran negara berpecah belah di atas dasar perkauman yang membuak2. Paling memualkan, tajuk2 dan berita2 di akhbar mengenai perbicaraan DSAI dan Saiful, errmm, bahasa yang di gunakan jauh sekali dari matlamat 1Malaysia! Menjatuhkan maruah, individu, bangsa dan negara!

Setelah tiba di Lulu, isteri dan Luqman terus ke pasaraya. Aku singgah di Baskin Robins, menikmati icecream 'Babana Split' - an old time favorite. Setengah jam kemudian aku naik ke pasaraya, menepati waktu bertemu Lil di kaunter bayaran.
"Banyak daun pisang, nak buat apa?" Aku bertanya.
"Nak masak kueh koci!" jawap LiL.
"Pisang tu pulak?" tanya aku lagi.
"Nak buat cokodok, dan pisang goreng~!" jawap LiL lagi, tersenyum.
Aku menghulurkan icecream Baskin Robins, banana split, yang telah aku belikan untuk Lil dan Luqman.

Pagi ini aku tidak bangun pagi seperti di rancang! Subuh pun tertinggal, Astaghfirrullah! Berdosa! Qada~! Bila tersedar, jam sudah hampir sepuluh pagi. Lena sungguh tidur...penat la agaknya! hehehe.
Ada sms dari Fudzail, "kami di green city!"
Ah, rasa sungguh bersalah dan rugi, tidak dapat bersama kawan2 bersarapankan Puri!

Bau dari dapur membuat aku lapar! Kueh Koci sudah siap berbungkus. Cokodok pisang panas memenuhi mangkuk. Brown toasts and cheese omelette menunggu di meja makan!
"Eh dah masak ka kueh koci ni?" tanya aku, setelah melihat comel2 jer kuih kuci di dalam pinggan. Tidak comot seperti yang selalunya aku tenguk.

"Dah! ini ikut risipi baru Mariani!" senyum jer LiL, bangga dengan kuih kuci comel2 nya.

"Berbedza ka risipi Mariani tu?" aku bertanya. Setahu aku, kueh koci tu ada inti, ada tepung, ada santan, ada daun pisang jadilah!

"Berbedza! Dia buat inti lebih, tepung sikit. Dan inti dan tepung di kukus dulu, daun pisang di kukus asing. Setelah siap semua di kukus baru bungkus~!" Lil mencerita kan rahsia Kueh Koci comel2 itu.

"Errrrm, bukan saja comel, sedap ~!" aku memuji setelah mencuba sebiji, dan membuka yang ke dua.

"Alaaa, yang comel2 tak semestinya sedap...yang sedap2 juga tak semestinya comel~!" menjeling lain macam pulak si Lil.

"Yang you punya ni, comel dan sedap!" aku sudah membuka kueh koci yang ke lima!

Lil masih membungkus lagi untuk aku bawa pulang ke Jeddah.
"Sikit jer you letak santan?" aku bertanya.
"Aha, Mariani kata jika nak bunuh suami boleh lah letak banyak2 santan tu!" Lil ketawa kecil.

"Oh, jika sayang suami tak semestinya beri lebih2 lah ye!" aku menduga.

"Aha lah, jika sayang suami, bagi cukup2 jer~!" jawap Lil, seperti mengerti maksud aku.

"Errrm, sedap. Berbaloi cari daun pisang semalam!" aku habis kan sepinggan kuih2 kuci yang comel2.

"Berbaloi ka? hahaha. Itu nak dengar tu. Biar you rasa berbaloi pulang hujung minggu!" Eh, macam ada makna tersirat pulak ayat ahir Lil sebelum dia bangun untuk ke dapur!

Aku tersenyum...."berbaloi~!" bisik dalam hati!
Walaupun terlajak tidur dan terkandas plan untuk sarapan Puri bersama kawan2, tetap berbaloi~!

Kueh koci
di luar tepung di dalam inti
di bungkus dengan rapi
untuk di jamu kepada suami.
Kueh koci
suami makan menjilat jari
sedap tidak terperi
habis sepiring, nak lagi~!
"berbaloi?" tanya isteri
"berbaloi!" jawap suami,
"Dan bukan kerana kueh koci !"
Sama-sama mengerti
Sama-sama menjilat celah jari~!

"A captain's love..."

"This is your captain speaking. I have a special announcement and request to make. Today is my wife's birthday, but I am not able to be with her because I have to fly you to New York. If you would sing a happy birthday song for her, she will be very happy and I will be even happier! In return, I will make sure we will land safely in New York on schedule!"

No sooner after Captain Azim clicked off his PA microphone, the whole plane echoed with "Happy birthday to you...happy birthday to you...happy birthday to captain's dearest...happy birthday to you~!"

Not known to the passengers on flight XX202 to New York was a beautiful lady seated in the Business Class seat number 12L who was blushing away. She eased herself into her seat, trying to make herself as small as she can be even though her heart has expanded like a balloon .

The singing subsided. A few passengers were seen giggling away at the little act of love. A young couple were seen kissing each other, withdrew, smiled and gazed longingly into each others eyes. Everyone had a warm good feeling...at the public display of love from their flight captain. Then, three cabin crew appeared from the front with a birthday cake, and approached row 12, and started to sing...'happy birthday to Mira...happy happy birthday to Miiiiiraaaaa'.
Spontaneously, the whole cabin cheered and clapped!
Mira, the birthday lady, and the dearest wife of the captain stood up, took a bow and whispered, 'Thank you everyone', and with the sweetest of smile, cut the cake. She took a pie, place it on the serving plate and gave it back to one of the crew members. "For the captain!" she said, audible enough for everyone to hear and once again cheered and applauded!

Four seats behind her was another lady, of slightly older disposition, and seemingly in deep thought. She has been watching the whole scene, silently. When the unexpected ceremony was over, she reclined her seat, pulled the blanket over her face and leaned on her right side facing the window. She started to cry a silent cry. Tears flowed down her cheeks. Exactly one year ago, on the same flight, it was her who had cut the cake. The birthday lady then was Lina, not Mira! And it was the same captain Azim who announced and made the request. The cake was different. While Mira got a strawberry cheese cake, hers was a chocolate cake! Captain Azim paid attention to details. And that was what made him so endearingly charming to his ladies.

Lina, or Marlina, was the one and only wife to Captain Azim for a good eleven years. A marriage so blissful and happy she would have never guessed that her husband was contemplating taking a second wife. When the news was broken to her by Zue, one of her girlfriends, that Azim has married a young stewardess from the same airline, she refused to believe. In fact she was angry and raised her voice in denial. She was almost screaming with the words, "Don't you dare repeat that again, not ever again!"
When Zue left, she slumped into her sofa, face in her hands, and sobbed. She somehow knew, deep within her heart, that Zue was telling the truth. She did what she had not done for a long time, she called Azim on his mobile. The phone rang but was left unanswered. Exactly the reason she hated calling Azim, he never answered his phone when on duty, overseas. His usual excuse, "Oh I did not see the caller ID, so I didn't know it was you!" Lina swallowed that excuse. In retaliation, after a few tries too many, she just quit calling. Mistake! Her mistake. That was exactly what Azim intended to happen.
She was left with no doubt at that point, that Azim has indeed re-married, and most probably was with his new wife and may even be making love to her. She cried even harder. Her whole body was shaking. When Azim returned 5 days later from a flight to Sao Paolo, she confronted him.
He didn't deny. He also didn't affirm. What he did actually hurt Lina even worse. He simply said, "I think it is time for us to go our separate ways!" Just like that. No 'if', no 'buts', simply his wish, and hers didn't exist.
They were divorced that day. She walked out that same day, with nothing but buckets of tears and a heart shattered to pieces.

That was only eight months ago, about 4 months after her thirty-fifth birthday.

She never recovered. She has lived a life obsessed with Azim and his new woman, Mira. She followed them, even joined their face-book friendship list, using an Indian male name she has created, Anil. Somehow, using all the alphabets of her own name made her feel real, and made her feel close to Arif. Pathetic! She realized that many times over.

It was when she discovered that Mira actually shared the same birthday as hers, that she decided to book a seat on the flight Azim was flying. Facebook has made it easy for her to follow his flight schedule, and their lovey dovey banters on FB even told Lina and the whole world that Mira was following him to New York! She actually paused to ponder over the risks of using facebook, so much information are displayed for the world to see! But on that occasion, she was thankful that such cyber thing existed! Anil, was stalking and no one cares! Perhaps the FBI was the only who noticed that Anil and Lina actually shared the same IP address.

One hour before landing, Lina buzzed for an attendant's service. One lanky Moroccan stewardess approached her. She passed a folded note in an envelop to the stewardess and requested her to pass that to the captain. The Moroccan looked at her quizzingly, and whispered, "For security reason we can only pass this to the captain after we have left the plane Ma'am!"
Lina wasn't aware of such rule. Nevertheless, her quick thinking made her proud of herself. She whispered back, "If you ask him first whether he wish to take a note from Haslina Mohd Ali from Malaysia, then if he knows me, I supposed you can pass the envelop please. I am his neighbour!"
"Yes ma'am" said the Moroccan and swayed all of her assets back towards the cockpit.
Lina smiled to herself and waited!

A few minutes later, the captain's voice came over the PA system. A few of the passengers laughed, a few others giggled loudly. But everyone burst into singing, and even louder than the first time.
"Twinkle twinkle little star...how i wonder what you are...twinkling twinkling up so high...like a diamond in the sky!"

Everyone then cheered and applauded enthusiastically. One by one the passengers in the business class came over to wish Lina "Happy birthday, you are a diamond in the sky today!"

The passenger in seat 12L remained seated.

A minute later the same Moroccan stewardess returned with a big smile on her face and carrying the same enveloped. Lina thanked her, and nervously opened to read a hand written message. It was his hand-writing. The little twist at the end of the letter 'L' in the word 'Lina' and 'Love' has been his trademark, and has been one of the things Lina remember dearly about him. She smiled, folded the paper and kept it inside her wallet. The message, although short, gave her palpitation of excitement. Her hand turned cold all of a sudden. She has been chasing his shadows to get his love back, and now that was happening, she didn't know how to handle. She re-opened the folded note, and read the message again. This time, she even spelt the words, one by one. It still says the same thing as she read the first time. There is "if" in his message. Why would he be able to love only "if" she would give him a second chance. Why would he not fight for her love.

"Welcome to the mile high birthday club. I still love you Lina, if you would give me a second chance. urs forever, A"

Lina started to feel in a way she has not felt for the last eleven years. She felt a tinge of confidence and indepence. It started with a little reassurance from a spot in her belly, and it spreaad fast to whole being. She got back herself! the way she had not got what she had lost for the last eight months. She got back herself. She smiled, this time from her heart and from the deeper side of her gut. Free at last! Yes, free from Azim. Free from a need to depend on love for her to feel happy. She realize how pathetic a person can be, and she was convinced then, it was Azim who was even more pathetic than she was. Her love for Azim was unconditional, and she was ready to chase the shadows of it. To reach and feel it . Not Azim. His love was a love of convenience. She didn't consider herself an item from a shelf at a convenient store. One which can be grabbed whenever it suits someone's fancy. Never! Not even for someone she love. She got back her dignity. Closure at last!

Lina's thought drifted back to Idham, her FB friend. A friend of Marlina and not of Anil. Idham has been asking, more like pleading, to have dinner with her. Their chance meeting at a seminar sparked the interest. A man in his late forties, single after the death of his wife seven years ago due to a road accident, and has never been in love since. That was what he has told her. "Time to check him out!" Lina smiled. This time a naughty and confident smile. A smile of someone who is back in charge of her own life.

The flight landed with a screech. She too had landed! Back on firm ground at last.