Found this too...! :-)

Saya Budak STAR

Blog Old Boys

Written by Ariffin Mamat

Tuesday, 14 April 2009 00:00

As the train pulled into station, I joined a disorderly queue rushing up to one of the three coaches marked "Reserved - STAR - Pantai Timur." From experience, I knew there will be enough seat for everyone, so except for making sure I was at a distance where I could get on-board should the whistle blow I was quite relaxed. The more senior amongst us responsibly helped the more junior ones with their bags and ushering them to seats. The more cute the juniors, the faster they got helped!! Ironically, the younger boys were seen carrying much bigger bags than us seniors. I was in form four then! I thought to myself, "Must be gifts for everyone at home - perhaps they even packed one or two Limau Tambun and a dozen packs of Kacang Menglembu!" I smiled, as I recalled those similar acts during my earlier years.

Home bound train rides at the end of every school term was something I always looked forward to! Long before the term finished, the more adventurous amongst us would have been writing letters to our counter parts from TKC, or Sekolah Perempuan Kolam Air, or STF. Counterparts could be in the form of similar examination number, or a prefect sending to another prefect, or a soccer player to a netball captain etc. A few used friends to intiate the introductions. So when the train ride begun, we waited with abated breath for stops at Kuala Lumpur ( Kolam Air ), and Seremban ( TKC ) and Gemas ( to be joined by our country cousins from STF ). I didn't belong to those groups who had 'girl-friends', however I belonged to a group of wide eyed silent and envious observers who pretended not to care but who was watching every moves made by our more adventurous friends. All the same, term after term I anxiously waited for the train ride home....in the hope that luck would be with me and a cute girl from TKC, or Kolam Air or STF would smile in my direction and gestured for me to go seat next to her.

Alas.....

In my six years, which translated to 36 train rides to-and fro, the closest I ever got was when a girl with a crew cut hair came and sat next to me when I was having a hard-boiled egg and a cup of tea in the train canteen. I wanted to smile back, but egg yolk was sticking all over my teeth, I thought it was best to keep my mouth shut! She was later joined by another girl who came to stand next to her and kept glancing at me with some kind of body languages so apparent that even a half-blind man would understand ~ she wanted me to buzz-off and vacate the seat for her! Less by intention to be a gentleman, but more by a hidden motive to impress the girl with the crew cut hair, I actually got up and vacated my seat while still trying hard to swallow the last few crumbles of the hard boiled egg. In return, I did get the sweetest of smile from her....the girl with the crew cut hair!

Whenever I arrived in Kuala Krai, the station where I disembarked every time - my uncle was always there waiting for me. He would offer to carry my bags to his rickshaw. I always made a point to let him carry any bags except my STAR school bag - a white bag with the school badge proudly and prominent printed on one side of it, and with the words Sekolah Tuanku Abdul Rahman Ipoh scribed in a semi-circle just below it. That bag would hang from my shoulder, and always with the printed side facing outwards. I was a proud 'Budak STAR' showing off to every girl in Kuala Krai and all the way to my uncle house in Gucil of my status - "A STARIAN". Judging from the outcome, none was impressed. I did not get any favourable second glance. Even the dullest amongst them did not show any interest to know who was the sunken eyed boy with unkept hair and egg yolks sticking to the side of his mouth.

My boy friends in kampung however were always keen to listen to my stories - about my train rides and how the girls from the all girls boarding school would date us from STAR during those journeys. Throughout the years, I learned to spice up my stories so as not to lose my audience. One of my friends actually got so inspired he persuaded his parents to send him to a vocational school in Mentakab Pahang after his LCE with single objective to experience the train rides. One little problem was, he actually took my stories about dating literally and tried to en-act the same. He got into deep depression because he thought he was a loser since nothing close to my stories ever happened to him. Out of a rigging sense of guilt and nudging sense responsibility, I explained to him that I made up most of my stories in previous years.

He recovered. I knew he truly recovered when one day during a train ride home when we were in form five, he searched for me once he came on board in Mentakab and by his side was one of the prettiest damsel I ever seen during all of my previous train rides. She was tall, had dark flowing long hair, big eyes, and a smile which shook my heart to a rhythm I never knew existed. I was in danger of falling in love with my best friend's girl friend. I came to understand later in life when we had a session of a group confession at one of the old boys' meeting that almost all of my friends had fallen head over heels in love with any girl who made a mistake of smiling generously at them.

We were 'Budak STAR', we needed help with our social grace especially when it came to being in the company of girls.

Fortunately, we were also fast learners. I stopped eating hard-boiled eggs during train journeys. Instead I learned to bring things I could offer to girls as a form of ice-breakers such as chewing gums or scented facial tissues. I was encouraged by the results and made the mistake of sharing my experience with a few of my friends. Whoaallaalalaa, the next thing I knew, during the next train ride a whole bunch of STAR boys were handing out chewing gums to unsuspecting girls from TKC, Sekolah Kolam Air and STF.

As fate has it, I ended up marrying a girl from TKC. And I have been having a ball of a time trying to win her over on daily basis - so much so I suspected they actually taught in TKC on how to play hard to get!!

Ariffin Mamat, batch 75, is a typical success story of STAR. Popularly known as Pak Pin he has held various senior positions with Texas Instruments, Unilever Asia Pacific and Unilever Middle-East Africa. He currently resides in Jeddah.

Test Market~!

Pak Uda Karman merenung jauh ke luar tingkap pesawat. Kehijauan ladang kelapa sawit semakin sayup dari pandangan. KLIA di tinggalkan, begitulah di tinggalkan juga isterinya Mak Uda Salmah bersama tiga anak-anak belasan tahun. "Abang pergi dulu test market di Dubai tu macam mana, jika okey nanti abang bawak lah Sal dan anak-anak!" Begitulah kata Pak Uda Karman kepada Mak Uda. Penerbangan ke Dubai demi mencari rezki di perantauan. Pak Uda Karman mendapat peluang bekerja di Dubai pun secara tak sengaja. Di suatu hari dia memasukkan 'Resume' nya ke website agensi pekerjaan di Timur Tengah. Waktu itu, Mak Uda datang duduk di sebelahnya, bertanya, "Abang buat apa tu tekun sungguh nampak?"

Pak Uda Karman menjawap, "Ni hah, abang test market, saja masukkan resume ke website ni, mana tau ada rezki di Timur Tengah pula!"

"Eh ada kah orang nak employ orang dah tua macam abang tu?" Pertanyaan Mak Uda Salmah ihlas, tetapi di dengari oleh Pak Uda Karman bagaikan satu perli yang pedas. Isu usia sememangnya isu sensitif, apa lagi Pak Uda baru saja melewati mercu tanda usia lima puluh tahun! Sehari sebelum ulang tahun hari lahir, Pak Uda secara diam-diam telah ke salon dan mewarnakan janggutnya yang sejemput itu berwarna hitam. Tidak ada seurat pun lagi yang putih! Sebaik dia pulang, Mak Uda tercegat bercekak pinggang di pintu, 'Amboi amboi...buang tabiat kah bapak nya ni!"

Pak Uda cuma terkebil-kebil, sambil tersenyum hambar dan berkata, "Usia jer tua, tak semesti nya kita pun terikut nampak dan rasa tua!"

Pak Uda terus melayari saat-saat bersama Mak Uda, dan bagaimana dia sekarang berada 30,000 kaki di udara menuju ke Dubai buat pertama kalinya.

"Abang jaga diri di sana nanti! Jangan pulak nak test market dengan Minah-Minah Arab di sana!" pesanan terahir dari Mak Uda tak kala bersalaman tadi.

"Eh, tak kan lah abang nak test market pulak. Lagi pun siapa lah yang hendakkan orang tua macam saya ni!" Pak Uda menggunakan balik ayat2 Mak Uda.

"Awak tu memang suka test market! Buka saya tak tahu! Janggut tu biarkan lah putih bang....tak baik kaler2 hitam begitu!" pesan Mak Uda, sambil mengusap2 janggut Pak Uda.

Anak-anak datang bersalaman, tidak berkata apa-apa.

"Jaga diri masing2. Dengar cakap ibu!" pesan Pak Uda kepada anak bujang nya yang sulung dan dua anak-anak perempuan.

"Ye lah...bapak pun dengar cakap ibu tu...jangan dok test market di sana nanti!" sampuk anak perempuan bongsu. Dia tersenyum, mengilai kecil sebelum melangkah masuk ke dewan berlepas.

Sejak ahir-ahir ini, memang Pak Uda sering juga di serang keinginan mencuba. Apabila asyek di cabar oleh Mak Uda kerana selalu saja tewas apabila bersama, dia terus kehilangan mood.

Bahkan, senjatanya yang dulu pantang di sentuh pasti bingkas berdiri, kini bagaikan getah paip tidak berisi air, terkulai lemah. Di sentuh, di geletek, di pujuk pun sama saja! Puas lah juga Mak Uda berbedak, berwangi-wangian, berbaju kelawar baru, masih juga Pak Uda tidak menunjukkan minat. Jika tidak ingatkan malu kepada diri sendiri, teringin juga Mak Uda mencuba teknik yang selalu di syorkan oleh Puan Kiah, janda yang baru berkawin dengan suami orang itu. Tapi, tak terbuat oleh Mak Uda. Setiap kali dia ingin mencuba, baru saja dia membuka mulut dia terasa malu dan jijik.

"Eh Mak Uda anggap jer lah mende tu ice cream! buat jer, pasti suami suka!" Begitulah Puan Kiah janda bercerita, sambil memuncung-muncungkan mulut nya bagaikan membuat demonstrasi!

"Tak mahu lah aku Kiah! Kamu tu jika pandai sangat kenapa di ceraikan suami kamu dulu tu!" Sebiji Mak Uda bagi terus ke muka Puan Kiah janda.

"Eh Mak Uda ni. Bukan dia ceraikan Kiah lah, Kiah yang tinggalkan jantan tu. Mana tahan, asyik asyik kita jer bagi dia puas, dia tak peduli pun keperluan kita! Dah lah begitu, Kiah tangkap dia bercinta pula dengan perempuan lain!" Puan Kiah menjelaskan.

Pak Uda terlena, mulutnya terlopong kepalanya melenggok ke tingkap pesawat. Pramugari melihat Pak Uda agak kesejukkan, menyelimutkan nya. Tak kala itu, Pak Uda terjaga, tetapi terus pura-pura tidur. Terasa seronok di hatinya di selimuti begitu oleh pramugari jelita tadi. Berdetik di hatinya untuk test market dengan pramugari tadi. Dia melihat jam di tangan, dan mencongak. Ada 4 jam lagi sebelum mendarat. Sempat lah sekadar test market tu, fikirnya.

Dia bangun untuk ke tandas. Di dalam bilek air kecil pesawat, Pak Uda memberus gigi, menyikat rambut, dan merapikan janggutnya. Sempat juga dia mencabut dua urat bulu hidung yang terkeluar menari-nari. Dia senyum! Melihat senyuman nya sendiri di cermin, membuat dia berpuas hati! "Manis masih ada!" bisik hatinya.

Pak Uda kembali ke tempat duduk dan menekan button memanggil servis dari pramugari.

Dengan senyuman pramugari tinggi lampai bersanggul berbangsa melayu datang menghampiri. Pramugari yang tadinya menyelimuti Pak Uda, semakin manis. "Time to test market!" bisik hati Pak Uda.

"Pak Cik, boleh saya bantu?" Kata pramugari.

"Apa pulak pakcik? Nama saya Karman!" Kata Pak Uda yang terasa bagai dipotong stim dengan panggilan 'Pakcik'.

"Oh maafkan saya Pak Cik Karman! boleh saya bantu?" Ulangi pramugari tadi, menjeling ke arah penumpang lelaki muda di sebelah Pak Uda yang tersenyum sinis.

"Tak per lah. Bring me one packet of kuaci please!" Mendengus suara Pak Uda, bukan marah tetapi kecewa!

"Kuaci tak de lah pak cik! Peanut boleh?" kata pramugari.

"Peanut pun peanut lah!" Kata Pak Uda yang sudah hilang sabar.

Setelah pramugari beredar, Pak Uda merungut kepada lelaki muda di sebelahnya, "Apa lah kapal terbang ni, kuaci pun tak der! Ingat kita ni monyetkah nak di berinya peanut!!"

Lelaki itu hanya tersengih dengan senyuman, tidak menjawap. Agaknya, dia tidak berani berkata-kata kerana tahu yang 'Pakcik' di sebelahnya sedang berang.

Ketibaan di Dubai di sambut oleh wakil dari majikan, seorang wanita Filipina yang berdiri di ruang ketibaan memegang poster tertulis namanya. "Mr. KRASMAN" Terbeliak mata Pak Uda membaca nama nya yang telah di eja begitu rupa! "Nak kena budak ni!" bentak hati kecilnya.

"Welcome Mr Krasman! My name is Lolita, and I will take you to your hotel" Berkata wanita itu dengan nada riang. "Errrmm, manis!" bisik hati Pak Uda. Sepanjang perjalanan, Lolita bercerita tentang Dubai; cuacanya, penduduknya, bangunan tinggi-tinggi nya, dan sebagainya. Pak Uda pula melayan fikiran nya yang berkecamuk; "Nak test market ka dengan si Lolita ni atau tidak". Jika di lihat dari bentuk badan, boleh tahan walau pun muka nya tak lah se cantik si pramugari tadi. Bahkan Mak Uda lagi cantik, sekurang-kurangnya gigi Mak Uda tersusun cantik dan masih original, bukan seperti si Lolita yang agak jelas bergigi palsu! Tak semena-mena Pak Uda bersuara, "Where you sleep tonight?"

Terkejut juga si Lolita dengan soalan itu, namun dia menjawap dengan skema, "Oh in my bed, in my house, beside my husband!"

"Set, Game and Match! Game over!" bisik hati Pak Uda. Nampak friendly macam boleh, tapi dah kawin rupanya. Dia cuba cover line, tetapi fikirannya agak lembab, mungkin kerana pertukaran udara yang begitu panas membakar di luar tadi.

"And Mr. Krasman, you should not ask any woman with that kind of question here especially to local ladies, they can report you to police!" Nasihat si Lolita apabila perasan yang lelaki di sebelahnya di dalam limosin itu agak miang.

"Oh, cannot test market here?" Tanya Pak Uda.

"You are too old already for that Mr krasman!" Direct jer jawap si Lolita.

"By the way, why you write my name as K R A S M A N? My name is KARMAN!" Tanya Pak Uda Karman yang dari tadi agak kurang senang dengan ejaan itu.

"Don't know. But your secretary from Malaysia sent us that spelling for your name!" Jawap si Lolita.

Huh, Pak Uda teringatkan secretary lama nya yang telah berkali-kali dating, tetapi belum berjaya berbuat apa-apa. Bukan kerana si secretary tidak sudi, malah telah bersedia di bilik tidur menunggu, tetapi kerana Pak Uda tidak dapat menghunus senjata. Secretary itu juga lah yang telah memberitahu rahsia untuk menguatkan kembali tenaga lelaki, "Abang Karman makanlah buah kuaci! banyak-banyak!! Jika boleh buat powder masukkan ke dalam air ye bang!!"

"Your hotel is here Mr Karman! I will be here at 8am tomorrow to take you to the office!" Kata si Lolita apabila limosin mereka memasuki kawasan hotel Crowne Plaza di Sheikh Zayed road.

"And, I suggest you take a good rest Mr Karman and no need to test market here. The market is for younger men, those with less stomach and more hair!!!"

Pak Uda menarik begnya keluar dari Limosin dan mengucapkan selamat malam kepada Lolita.

"Errrrmm, nasib baik aku bawa bekal kuaci lima kilo! Nanti kau Lolita, satu hari nanti dengan kamu tu aku test market!" Kata hati Pak Uda!

Teh Tarik di Dubai~!

Kawan-kawan bertemu, pekena teh secawan

sembang-sembang strategi kalahkan negarawan

ayat-ayat berseni umpama sasterawan

menghiburkan hati kelana di perantauan.

berbagai topik terhidang di meja

bergelak sakan, ada yang berjenaka

(i)

Ada ura-ura mengambil alih kuasa

tampuk kepimpinan MyUAE se nusantara

usul di bangkang dengan serta merta

ikrar kesetiaan kepada Tuan Presiden kita!

(ii)

Ada rakan2 terlewat tiba

"kenapa lewat dan kenapa berselipar sahaja?"

Kami bertanya, kerana lazimnya

mereka berstoking mengikut etika berpakaian

untuk ke pesta sebagai penyokong kebudayaan

membangunkan industri musiks dan juga tarian

"Stoking tak jumpa di cari, mungkin di sorok isteri"

usik seorang rakan yang sentiasa dengki

kerana sering di rantai tidak dapat mengikuti

keluar malam seperti kehendak hati!

(iii)

salah satu cerita di meja tadi

mengenai zikir bermakna seorang suami

sementara menunggu solat berjemaah

di ulang-ulang "La Ila Ha Illallah"

apabila di beritahu sang isteri

"saya di larang solat kerana tidak sah"

dengan tiba-tiba, suami mengeluh resah

"Laaaaa...illaaaah

mak kamu cuti pulak dah~!"

sambil menepuk dahi

menghitung hari di jari

terpaksa di tunggu lima hari lagi!

(iv)

Jika bertemu pasti ada topik " Ada Brani?"

Namun sehingga ke hari ini

hanya bagai tong kosong kuat berbunyi

masih belum ada yang brani berdiri

mendabik dada berkata,

"saya dah bersedia

untuk pasang dua!"

kata mereka pula

bukan kerana takutkan isteri-isteri

cuma isteri2 di sini, tak takutkan suami!

"Eh, bukan saya!"

hehehe

masing-masing tak mengaku

jika si isteri bertanya,

"betul abang cakap begitu!"

(v)

Ada satu lagi cerita tadi

mengenai seorang cina dan seorang benggali

mereka bertemu setiap hari

di stesen bas di awal pagi

si benggali sering memerhati

setiap hari, si Cina menghidu jari

"Kenapa Lu selalu cium Lu punya jari?"

Jawap si Cina,

"Malam2 wa pulang sudah manyak lewat,

pagi2 wa juga ta lak sempat

wa cuma cucuk jali, wa bawak bau wa punya mini!"

Si benggali mendapat idea!

Dia tiba-tiba tersenyum gembira

Besoknya di stesen bas yang sama

si Cina ternampak kawan nya

tersenyum-senyum sambil menghidu

lengan kanannya yang banyak berbulu

dari jari hingga ke siku!!!

"Whoarr...wa manyak lespek sama Lu!"

(vi)

memang seronok bertemu sesekali

cerita yang di kongsi

sekadar hiburan, jangan di simpan di dalam hati!