Pengalaman dari Tripoli ~!

Tripoli, Libya

by Mawar Normawati Mokhtar on Thursday, 24 February 2011 at 13:35

 Alhamdulillah saya n keluarga tiba di airport dubai mlm td . tgn sudah berhenti menggigil, tp hati ini masih terasa pilu..beribu2 org masih terdampar di airport Tripoli dlm kesejukan n kelaparan.  Keluarga embassy, ranhill n ACM masih gagal mendapatkan flight utk mereka pulang.  Dgrnya harini tidak ada plane luar dibenarkan mendarat di Libya. 

Keadaan di Tripoli semakin buruk. Jet pejuang n helicopter tentera MG ada di ruang udara. Tentera ada di mana dan sesiapa yg dirasakan perlu utk ditembak mereka akan tembak begitu aje. Keadaan amat tidak selamat selepas asar. Ramai org awam telah bersenjata selepas mereka membakar balai2 polis di Tripoli. Yg amat membahayakan MG mempunyai askar upahan luar utk membunuh rakyatnya, kerana army Libya sudah tidak sanggup membunuh sesame sendiri. Bunyi  tembakan kedengangan amat jelas dr medina Tripoli pd waktu malam. 

Company tempat suami berkerja, berjaya mendapatkan tiket utk 66 pekerkanya di Tripoli pulang negara masing sehingga keadaan aman kembali melalui offnya di cairo.  Amat sukar utk berhubung sesama sendiri..line tel down sejak beberapa hari yg lps. Hill mengarahkan pekerja2nya utk ke airport pagi semlm, 24 hours sebelum flight kerana takut xdpt masuk..ramai org yg terlepas flight kerana semua pintu masuk telah di block oleh ribuan manusia yg telah berkampung ntah sejak bila. Airport Tripoli telah tidak beroperasi, oleh itu tidak ramai pekerja yg ada. Nak sampai kea airport juga kami terpaksa berjalan jauh dgn beg2 kerana tiada kenderaan dibenarkan masuk. Semakin beransur ptg semakin ramai..sgt ramai...kebanyakan mereka adalah egyption, Turkish n Tunisia.. 4.2bil eyption ada di Libya...hampir menyamai jumlah rakyat Libya itu sendiri.  Mereka tidak ada tiket n dtg ke airport menunggu flight dr negara masing2. 

Saya n anak2 juga tidak dpt masuk kedlm...mencari kwn2 lain juga ntah di mana..nak tel pun xbole...kami duduk di tepi jln menunggu hari esok. Selepas jam 7 mlm cuaca semakin sejuk n kami mula menggigil. Saya xdpt nak membayangkan ketika itu bagaimana nak bermalam ditgh ribuan manusia yg setiap minit semakin ramai. Cuaca di Tripoli pd mlm hari masih below than 10’c. Alhamdulillah jam 8am ada seorang petugas airport ingin membantu kami masuk kedlm..punyalah terkial2 mengangkat beg2 n anak2 melalui blok manusia n beg2 yg terdampar siap utk tidur agaknya. seperti yg dijangka itu bukan khidmad percuma.. 200usd !! . Xpelah itu rezeki dia yg penting kami dpt masuk n dilm lebih selamat. Airport Tripoli jauh lebih kecil dr KLIA..ketika itu separuh ruang sudah dipenuhi org...dgn kepulan asap rokok berkepul2 di ruang udara. Org2 north Africa amat kuat merokok.  

Terasa sungguh lambat masa berlalu mlm itu..mata sgt mengantuk tp mendengar kanak2 n bayi menangis di luar terasa sungguh sebak..bagaimana mereka kesejukan dlm hujan renyai2...mereka tidak ada tiket hanya menunggu kemungkinan yg tidak pasti...n mereka akan berada disitu terus menunggu bersama anak2 n beg2 yg byk. Tidak ada restoran utk mkn n kemudahan toilet yg teruk. Saya wuduk disebelah najis2 yg berserakan...jam 6 pagi sudah tidak ada ruang utk bergerak...payahnya nak check in..berhimpit2..anak2 saya ntah berapa kali terkepit ditgh2 beg...keadaan tolak menolak amat mendebarkan.  

Hampir 3 jam check-in..terasa sungguh lega..perut dah berkeroncong dr semlm xmkn. Kena tunggu lama plak baru gate bukak..xsabar nak bfast dlm plane..selepas dpt duduk terasa syukur tp terbayang2 wajah2 penuh harapan ribuan yg masih di luar. Hampir 2 jam baru flight...n terkebil2 bila dimaklumkan xde mknan dlm our flight..agaknya sbb airportpun dah tutup..5 jam Tripoli to dubai. Mkn angin ajelah...Selagi xkeluar dr ruang udara Libya terasa seram aje memandangkan ada jet pejuang di mana2....mendarat di dubai jam 8mlm.. kerana delay punyalah lama di Tripoli so we miss our flight to KL.


 Mlm td tidur plak kat airport dubai..masih menunggu urusan tiket..jgnlah kena tidur disini lg mlm ni..kami diberikan lounge n mkn sepanjang di sini oleh afriqiyah airlines..pertama kali saya tidak gembira utk pulang ke mal..tidak terbayang goreng pisang yg menunggu seperti sebelum ini.. asyik terfikir bagaimana jutaan manusia termasuk 100++ rakyat mal termasuk org2 kedutaan yg masih tidak tahu bagaimana utk menghubungi mereka. 

Setakat hari ini rusuhan sudah mengorbankan lebih 1000 org..terasa sungguh letih setelah 2 hari tidak tidur..tp itu semua amat kecil berbanding kesukaran org lain yg masih tiada harapan utk keluar..seluruh warga Libya yg berdepan dgn  peperangan berdarah..semoga Allah memberikan kemudahan n pengakhiran yg baik utk semua yg berlaku ini...terima kasih kpd kawan2 yg mendokan keselamatan kami..saya masih di airport dubai bersama seorang rakan yg hampir bersalin bila2 masa...


(Tuan punya blog mendoakan penulis, Puan Mawar dan keluarga supaya selamat dan di lindungi Allah. Terimakasih kerana berkongsi pengalaman ini. Marilah kita sama2 berdoa agar Muslimin dan Muslimah di Libya selamat dari malapetaka manusia puaka ini. Ya Allah, makbulkanlah setiap doa dari pembaca blog ini...ameeeennnnn!)

"Jika abang nak kawin lagi, saya izinkan...."

Men, or Muslim men to be specific, when they hit 40+ face their mid-life crisis. Some feel the need to validate their 'manhood', and for this group they somehow think that such validation has higher value if done by a 20 something, gullible and bunny eyed dolly~! Others simply has the urge to answer the call of nature to pollinate as many ovaries as he possibly could - including those belonging to public figures called whores.

There are men who are able to shake their heads in disapproval of such behaviors described above - in tandem with their hypocrisy! For all men, regardless of upbringing and status of their marriage bear secret fantasies to have dirty weekends with their neighbors' wives.

Such bold statements I am making above.

The real difference between respectable men from those 'ulat bulu' lies in their ability to control their desires. In situations where his intention to marry again has comes to a point of no return, to be truthful about it with his existing wife. Many wives loathe the deceit more than the actual act! If something has to  be done, then do so with dignity!

Men who play the field should also be truthful when courting potential new partners. I personally despise anyone who claims to be 'single' in the presence of potential 'preys' in the hope of misleading the gullible dollies to his harem. A married man also, should not turn into oscar winning actor by telling made-up-sob-stories about his so-called-failing marriage. This opportunistic act takes advantage of women's psychological make-up, that each one believes she can 'change him' and make him happy! A birth-mark fallacy of many women!

On the flip side, since Islam has made provisions for Muslim men to marry as many as four wives at the same time, provided prescribed conditions are met, then wives of men who have the desires and who qualify should be more open in discussing their husbands' needs.

To simply dismiss and close the subject with remarks like, "Ok kalau you nak kawin, ceraikan i~!" or "Memang you ni lelaki gatal - dah tua2 tak sedar diri~!" or any other versions to similar effect, is to only provide 'justification' for their husbands to have affairs or to have 'Secret Marriages'.

A man, has the capacity to love more than one wife. In fact, I would go one step further by saying, a man who has more than one wife, provided his first wife consent to the second marriage, tends to multiply not divide the love he has for his wives.

"Saya izinkan...." is musics to men's ears. I interact with many 40 and 50 something men - most of whom are not even physically fit to row one boat ashore, what more to steer two or three over rolling waves of lust. Back pain, knee problems, or simply 'manhood' issues - should be reminders to take life easy not start new journeys on forbidden paths. To the contrary, it is more common for men of such fate who feel the need to validate their 'manhood'! For these people and for their sake, I hope, even if the wives say, "Saya izinkan....", they will not be doing it!  They should be scared stiff, pardon the pun, that they would decide to be where they belong, at home, preparing to grow gracefully.

If and when a husband of many years asks for permission, truthfully, then I am inclined to encourage the wife to say, "Saya izinkan...." and add, as a matter of factly,
 "Abang tu boleh ka? ....errmmm, nanti isteri muda abang tu kecewa, batin nya terseksa! Jika abang sakit tak boleh bangun, dah tak bergaji, sanggup kah dia terus jaga abang? Saya juga kalau ada jodoh, mungkin akan kawin lain bang, so jangan fikir saya akan menunggu abang datang balek ya?"

By empowering your men - you are empowering yourselves. You become the master of your own destiny!

Wooof Wooffff....they will come begging for you not to ditch them. Try it...!
Most men are creatures of 'attachment'. Once they have become attached to you, your caring, nursing, and nurturing, they will find it hard to leave if you show them leaving is a real option!

As in all assumptions, there are exceptions. For example, for a few, it is better for you to throw his fantasies out of the door and say to him, "Boy...Go fetch!" And as he runs chasing, his tongue salivating, you may close the door and with a shrug of the shoulder say to yourself, "Good riddance~!"
Most men, like the canine species, enjoy the thrill of the chase. Once they get the old piece of wood between their teeth, they will be coming back wagging their tails. Most men who leave their first wife, regret the decision once the novelty wears off, and the conniving little dolly starts to fart in their face~!

A friend of mine who has left his wife of twenty odd years to marry a twenty something once said to me, "Pin, aku sekarang terpaksa bangun malam2 untuk buat susu anak, tukar lampin...padahal, dengan bini dulu, tujuh anak, sekali pun aku tak pernah! Sedih jugak bila dah tua2 ni aku jadi takut kepada bini muda nih!"
I tried to console him by saying, "Worth it lah....you have got yourself a sweet young thing, right~!"
To which, to my surprise, he replied, "I am stressed...she is young, and I am not able to cope! Every time she verbally abused me lah for not satisfying her~!"
He added, with his voice turning into a whisper, "I regret divorcing my first wife. But what to do, she does not want me back any more!"

I over simplify, I know. But then again, do we really need to over complicate it?

Wives are gifted with special 'vibes'...don't play-play~!

I am glad to be of help. Even if helping simply means listening and asking some relevant questions. This morning, a friend shared how she discovered that her husband of ten years was having an affair with another woman. While listening to her story, I come to learn a few lessons about life. There are two in particular, which I derived from one part of the conversation (Via FB), which I wish to share here.

Her story (produced here with her permission), in a few lines:

"i x tau pun dier ader affair

sumer kantoi nyer hal

tuhan tu maha kaya

i ikhlas ngan dier

so semua bukti tu i dpt

dier jenuh dok sorok

i rasa x sedap hati .... sbb tgk dier mcm dah lain

tanya dier of cos la x ngaku kan

then i doa je lah

kalau betul la apa aku sangka ni ya allah tolong la tunjukkan bukti

pooff! satu2 bukti mai

now i have all his pix n sex tape dgn pompuan tu

while he's still married to me!"

The power of a wife's prayer!

"Ya Allah tolong la tunjukkan bukti!"

She had some 'uneasy feeling' that her husband was undergoing some change, and was keeping something from her. She did what she was taught to do, she turned to Allah for help.

Although she didn't like what she found out, she was relieved from the burden of suspicion. God has answered her do'a and she got all the evidence.

She and her (ex)husband ended with a divorce and the ex(husband) did marry the other woman.

A wife's intuition!

"i rasa x sedap hati..."

God creates women with many strengths. One of them is, a gift of intuition. A mother, for instance can 'feel' the feeling of her children. A wife, can 'feel' if her husband is cheating on her. The difference is, some wives would investigate, and others choose to ignore the 'vibes'. But, 'vibes' they do have...~!

As an additonal resource to readers, I pasted below what I found on a website.

Cheating Husband - Facts and Advice

Listed below are the most common findings about cheating husbands.

• Men are more likely than women to cheat. It is estimated that close to 50% of all men will cheat at some point in their lives.

• Husbands are also more likely to engage in online cheating – using chat rooms, webcams and online services to arrange sexual encounters

• The more money a husband makes, the more likely he is to be unfaithful. Having more money brings more opportunity and wealth tends to attract more women.

• A lack of sexual excitement or the routine of having sex with the same person often leads men to stray. Men are more likely to be drawn to the thrill of having sex with someone new (also see, Coolidge Effect).

• Husbands are less likely than wives to consider leaving their spouse when having an affair (see, will he leave his wife)

• A cheating husband is more likely to have an affair with someone who is younger than his wife.

• When having a one-night stand, men are less choosy than women when it comes to selecting someone to have sex with.

• Husbands are more likely to feel that cheating is justified due to the lack of sex within a marriage.

• Husbands are much more likely than wives to be serial cheaters (also see, husband constantly cheats and cheating husband survey)