"Absence makes the heart grows fonder....", I quoted an old adage.
"Absence makes my mind wonders....." Said my neighbour Uteh.
We both laughed. I spent long hours by the pool side accompanying her who was accompanying her only son swimming. That was during the time we lived in Singapore.
And she knew exactly why I laughed.....and at that too, she laughed out loud.
Uteh learned the hard way. When her husband changed job into a regional role, he was required to travel for days at a stretch and for weeks out of every month. On average, he was home only 8 nights in a month - the weekends. Not used to having her man away from home at nights, she was anxious for his safety and paralysed with jealousy. Her mind worked overtime in scripting all sort of images - could he be having dinner with another woman, was he dancing with a bar-girl, who could be with him in his bed? And during those time she turned into a monster - losing her patience with her son and was not able to focus on doing anything.
When her calls were not answered, she assumed the worse. And when he answered, she would snapped, "Who were you with last night?" A question which drove her husband up the walls.
Once, she took a flight secretly to Langkawi where her husband traveled for a Sale's conference.
She checked into a neighbouring hotel. One morning, she saw her husband coming out of the hotel, adorning a songkok and with a pensive looking face. He looked like someone in a hurry. She was already in a taxi - and instructed the driver to follow her husband's chauffeur driven jeep. She was certain, in her mind, that her husband was going to 'nikah'. She tried hard to remain calm, but her whole body was shaking.....her throat dry, and her voice was shrieking.
That day was the turning point for her and for her husband. What she saw - influenced their future from then on.
She ended her story with a hearty laughter. Uteh's trademark amongst our neighbours was her bellowing laughter - which had proven to be contagious.
"You know - he went to a funeral! - Aku ingat dia nak pergi menikah kau!!".
"So what happened" After I recovered from sakit perut ketawa, I asked her.
" I checked out from my hotel, and waited for him to come back at his hotel. I told him I missed him so much I had to come". She smiled at her own quick thinking.
"Wah....and that night what happened?" I could not resist that question.
" We celebrated new year la that night - I saw fireworks everywhere.....hahahahaha " And she broke into another one of her laughter, and then she added, "And he promised me to take along on his business trips in the future" An offer which she kept up her sleeve but seldom took. "Important to let him think I was going to follow - so that he does not make any dates! hahaha. But I seldom follow lah"
"So you don't trust him 100% then?" I teased.
"Not about trust lah, but you can say that I don't take him for granted!" She proved to smart yet again.
Living a long distance relationship is tough. It requires complete commitment and trust from both sides. It is important to keep in constant communication because any long period of incommunicado can cause the minds to wonder and gives space to whispers from the devils. In this era of internet, keeping in touch is easy and cheaper. Chat on-line, make voice calls using skype or the like, keep a blog going so that couples can keep track of lives on the other side of the world. This mom's blog is dedicated to her hubby - is an excellent example of what I am talking about. Pro-active couples turn long distance relationship into an opportunity for romance - sending hand written love letters, sending and receiving 'care parcels', little surprises such as asking a relative to deliver a home baked cake for her birthday and others - limited only by imagination.
Making dates can also work. Have a fixed time of the day for phone calls, as an example. This is especially effective if the long distance couples are over a different time zones.
"So....tell me how did you and LiL work it out when you travel...which is quite a lot also kan?" She asked me the same question. That was when LiL appeared with some freshly fried cokodok pisang....I repeated the question to LiL and asked her to answer.
"I don't have to do anything ......he has six children to call him at different time!" That afternoon, LiL had the last laugh. " Hahahahaha!"
"Absence makes my mind wonders....." Said my neighbour Uteh.
We both laughed. I spent long hours by the pool side accompanying her who was accompanying her only son swimming. That was during the time we lived in Singapore.
And she knew exactly why I laughed.....and at that too, she laughed out loud.
Uteh learned the hard way. When her husband changed job into a regional role, he was required to travel for days at a stretch and for weeks out of every month. On average, he was home only 8 nights in a month - the weekends. Not used to having her man away from home at nights, she was anxious for his safety and paralysed with jealousy. Her mind worked overtime in scripting all sort of images - could he be having dinner with another woman, was he dancing with a bar-girl, who could be with him in his bed? And during those time she turned into a monster - losing her patience with her son and was not able to focus on doing anything.
When her calls were not answered, she assumed the worse. And when he answered, she would snapped, "Who were you with last night?" A question which drove her husband up the walls.
Once, she took a flight secretly to Langkawi where her husband traveled for a Sale's conference.
She checked into a neighbouring hotel. One morning, she saw her husband coming out of the hotel, adorning a songkok and with a pensive looking face. He looked like someone in a hurry. She was already in a taxi - and instructed the driver to follow her husband's chauffeur driven jeep. She was certain, in her mind, that her husband was going to 'nikah'. She tried hard to remain calm, but her whole body was shaking.....her throat dry, and her voice was shrieking.
That day was the turning point for her and for her husband. What she saw - influenced their future from then on.
She ended her story with a hearty laughter. Uteh's trademark amongst our neighbours was her bellowing laughter - which had proven to be contagious.
"You know - he went to a funeral! - Aku ingat dia nak pergi menikah kau!!".
"So what happened" After I recovered from sakit perut ketawa, I asked her.
" I checked out from my hotel, and waited for him to come back at his hotel. I told him I missed him so much I had to come". She smiled at her own quick thinking.
"Wah....and that night what happened?" I could not resist that question.
" We celebrated new year la that night - I saw fireworks everywhere.....hahahahaha " And she broke into another one of her laughter, and then she added, "And he promised me to take along on his business trips in the future" An offer which she kept up her sleeve but seldom took. "Important to let him think I was going to follow - so that he does not make any dates! hahaha. But I seldom follow lah"
"So you don't trust him 100% then?" I teased.
"Not about trust lah, but you can say that I don't take him for granted!" She proved to smart yet again.
Living a long distance relationship is tough. It requires complete commitment and trust from both sides. It is important to keep in constant communication because any long period of incommunicado can cause the minds to wonder and gives space to whispers from the devils. In this era of internet, keeping in touch is easy and cheaper. Chat on-line, make voice calls using skype or the like, keep a blog going so that couples can keep track of lives on the other side of the world. This mom's blog is dedicated to her hubby - is an excellent example of what I am talking about. Pro-active couples turn long distance relationship into an opportunity for romance - sending hand written love letters, sending and receiving 'care parcels', little surprises such as asking a relative to deliver a home baked cake for her birthday and others - limited only by imagination.
Making dates can also work. Have a fixed time of the day for phone calls, as an example. This is especially effective if the long distance couples are over a different time zones.
"So....tell me how did you and LiL work it out when you travel...which is quite a lot also kan?" She asked me the same question. That was when LiL appeared with some freshly fried cokodok pisang....I repeated the question to LiL and asked her to answer.
"I don't have to do anything ......he has six children to call him at different time!" That afternoon, LiL had the last laugh. " Hahahahaha!"
*will be away from home until sunday night - so kira long distance la jugak for 3 malam nie - hehehe. Aku hilangkan diri untuk melepaskan rindu*
